his ex was a beauty queen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
his ex was a beauty queen
7
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:47am
hi everybody. this is my first message. my boyfriend's ex fiancee was a beauty queen. she was in catalogs. she is very beautiful. i on the other hand am on the other end of the spectrum from her and i am having trouble believing that my boyfriend will be happy with someone thats average. i am very very average. i feel like i have to try to live up to her. he tells me he loves me, but i can't believe that he would go from a tall beautiful model to a plain jane like me. i guess i just need some advice on how to stop worrying about it so much and just let myself be with him and forget about her. can anyone help me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 11:11am

The first thing you need to realize is that this is YOUR insecurity.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:52pm
I get down on myself sometimes because I feel "average" and I know there's a dozen other more beautiful women than me, but when I start playing the "why-would-this-adorable-guy-want-me" game, my brother always tells me that the prettiest girls aren't necessarily the ones guys want a relationship with. He says they may want them for sex, but when it comes to a relationship, guys are more attracted to someone who's beautiful inside, too. My brother's experience with the pretty girls is that some of them are not very nice. I know you feel inferior. Just do everything you can not to let him know you feel insecure. Guys run from insecurity!!! Fake it if you have to. And remember that you're the "winner" in this situation. You got him, babe! ;)

Oh, another thing my brother says (God, I love having a brother to talk about my guy problems with!!!) is that girls who are really pretty can sometimes be very high maintenance. After a while, high maintenance gets old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 2:28pm
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>when I start playing the "why-would-this-adorable-guy-want-me" game, my brother always tells me that the prettiest girls aren't necessarily the ones guys want a relationship with. He says they may want them for sex, but when it comes to a relationship, guys are more attracted to someone who's beautiful inside, too. <<<<<<<<<<<


I was just about to tell you this myself. I completely agree. A lot of guys I know only want the "really hot" girls for the sex, but when it comes to relationships it's an entirely different situation. I'm willing to bet that your bf really likes you. If he's such an adorable guy, why not enjoy the situation and see how things play out? He might just be in this for the long run and cares about you and what you have to say, rather than just wanting to sleep with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 3:44pm
This is what I think... maybe the beauty queen had the personality of a brick? Try not to compair yourself to her. Instead accept that he loves you for you. You may think yourself plain jane, but obviously he is attracted to you. Forget about her.... he has.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 3:58pm
Hello indigosun!
Welcome to Ask the Dating Doyenne!!

When you start to feel inadequate and begin to question the "why"... go back and read Jilly's post... it is a good one and very to the point...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 4:03pm
Hello girlygirl!
Welcome to Ask the Dating Doyenne!!

Don't worry about being "average"... I am slightly avove abnormal myself... LOL

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 12:58am
i just wanted to say thank you to all of you. sometimes i just get so caught up in myself. thank you so much and i will certainly try and remember your advice.