his online dating profile is still up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
his online dating profile is still up?
2
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 9:06pm

Why is his online dating profile still up, and why is he logging in there?

I have been dating a great guy for about 5 months (met him in real life, not online). He's said he's not dating anyone else; neither am I. We typically spend most of the weekend together, and hang out on the odd weekday night. I've met his friends, he's met mine, everything is going great. But his online dating profile, which a friend of mine ran across, is still up. And he apparently still logs into the service from time to time (I confess, I have been checking to see if he's been on "within 24 hours") I have ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER REASON to worry about him messing around, but what do you think is going on? Should I worry? Should I bring it up? HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 9:23pm
If you've not had the "exclusive" conversation, then he may be keeping his dating options open. If it's really bothering you, it's probably time for you to figure out if you want exclusivity or not and raise the issue. While it's preferable to let your partner bring it up, there is nothing wrong with asking where you stand, especially if you are sleeping together.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 9:36pm

Him saying he's not *actually* dating anyone else at the moment is different from saying "I'm not open to dating anyone else while the two of us are involved". This guy is obviously keeping his options open. That's why it's important to discuss what exclusivity means to each of you and reach an understanding that works for both of you.

I would bring it up in a non-accusatory way...something like, " saw your profile on Match the other day and mentioned it to me. I know we talked about the fact that neither of us were currently dating anyone else, but we didn't really discuss whether we should keep our options open and be free to date other people if we wanted to. Does having a profile up mean you'd like to have that option?" Then see what he says and start a dialogue about it.

Sheri