Holidays

Avatar for autumnstar02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Holidays
3
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 8:19am

My bf and I cannot spend thanksgiving together as planned. He is going in for an oral surgery appointment on wednesday night. Since they are putting him out for the surgery and he gets sick off of the anesthesia, he is planning to send the kids to his ex's house and spend the day sleeping and throwing up. Lovely. I was so looking forward to the holiday, but I don't blame him. His teeth started acting up last Saturday (not two days ago) and this is an ongoing problem with him needing teeth replaced because of internal damage.

I said that I would love to come over and help him if he needs it. He said that he is miserable when he is sick (true) and that he would be annoyed by people making noise or helping him. Thats why the kids are going to the ex's all day. Is anyone else's bf or dh like this? I am someone who loves to help people who are sick or needy, etc and so this is really confusing me. I have never dated someone who is annoyed when a gf (or anyone...mom, dw, kids, etc) helps him when he is sick. He just likes to go it alone and do for himself.

Anyone else have this type of significant other?

Thanks,

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: autumnstar02
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 9:53am

Jen...

Pianoguy knows a few men who prefer to "suffer in silence" instead of involving a mom, a g/f or a wife.

PLEASE RESPECT YOUR B/F'S WISH AND LET HIM MEND ALONE!

Sure...it's a difficult adjustment for a lady like yourself...who just wants to offer a little comfort. However, when a man is in a lot of physical pain...there's very little anybody (woman or man) can do to alleviate it!

Spend "turkey day" with friends or family...and keep your chin up. The yuletide season is only a month away.

Pianoguy

Avatar for autumnstar02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: autumnstar02
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 10:17am

Thanks pianoguy. I needed that. :-)

I'll lay off. Its true. Christmas isn't too far away. And, thinking about it this morning, I thought that it would be nice for our first holiday together to be Christmas...which is both of our fave holiday.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
In reply to: autumnstar02
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 11:03am
No but men like to be independent. So you know if he wants to deal w/ it that way I would support him. Really I know our instincts tell us to take care of them but also you should be glad you don't have to baby him when he's going through phyisical pain- in my opinion, maybe just get him a get well card or something to keep him busy while your gone. you know just to show that even though he doesn't want you there that you still care and understand his position.