how and where do I meet someone

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
how and where do I meet someone
8
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:25am
Hi there, I am a 43-year-old divorced single mom of a soon to be 15 year old daughter and I am wanting to date, but find it almost impossible where I live. I wouldn't move for that reason alone, and my daughter needs her father who is still an important part of her life. But how do you separate the decent guys from the ones who just want a one night stand and that's all I seem to find. It served it's purpose years ago, but after four years, I want to fall in love again and be happy and share my life with someone. I suffer depression as well, so that doesn't help matters much. I am possibly going to a club with some new people I haven't met and another new friend and I are going to go out and try to have some fun, but not take it too seriously, either.

Anybody have any suggestions. I've tried the supermarket and I can't tell whether a guy is single depending on what he buys, but if I see baby food in the cart, I'm outa there, lol.

Thanks for listening

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 10:20am
Here is what my best friend and I have learned the hard way. We work part time at a softball complex. NEVER date softball players. Not all of them are bad, but if they play more than 2 nights a week...RUN.

Bars are a horrible place to meet a guy.

Try the grocery. Starbucks Coffee House! Hotties, business men and bonus $$$.

Start working out, you can always meet a guy, or better yet meet women that will introduce you to a really nice guy.

My sister said I should get all dolled up and go to a REALLY expensvie steak house downtown. She said to sit at the bar and order a drink. She guarentees I will get a date. I haven't tried that yet, but if any of you do I would love to hear how it went.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 12:34pm

Hi Pisces,


I'll be 43 next week, and I can certainly relate to what you're experiencing.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:19pm
I ivpices- I am 26 and I do not have children, but i am in the same boat. I am at a complete loss on how to find men. I don't even know how to find a one-night stand so you are up on me there. I've NEVER met a single guy since I graduated from college. I don't think they exist. I don't know where you live, but here in Boston, it is not considered kosher to try to strike up conversations with strangers. I am working on striking up conversations with guys who have dogs, like asking them about their dog. My friend *just* broke up with her boyfriend and she's already with someone else by doing this. Unfortunately, I haven't found any young guys walking their dogs by me, but I will keep looking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:38pm
Just to comment on your suggestions- Starbucks is hopeless for several reasons. 1) I never see any cute guys in there by themselves. 2) on the rare occaision that you do, they are always reading. And 3) what are you supposed to do, just go up and talk to them for no reason? Ha yeah right. I don't know where you live but here in the northeast, that is totally unacceptable behavior. The guy will just look at you like a freak. And He's going to have a g/f anyway, they all do.

The Gym- people DO NOT like to be bothered in the gym. I work out 5 days a week for 1-2.5 hours and I NEVER talk to anyone and NO ONE talks to me. People look at me like i have two heads if I just ask them if they are done with whatever equipment they are using and i need. Futhermore- how horrible does one look at the gym? How are you supposed to pick up guys covered in a layer of sweat, with sweat soaked hair, and wearing elastic waistband shorts that make your ass look huge?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:40pm
I've been seperated from my husband for over a year now. I haven't been on any dates and I also suffer from depression. I've been fighting the illness for a good part of my life. I'm also a "mood eater", so I packed on the pounds throughout my rollercoaster marriage. I know you're probably constantly thinking there is something wrong with you because you haven't been dating. I went through the same thing...I still do, but not as often. I decided to put my chin up and do what's best for me. I've become a vegetarian (something I always wanted to do) & starting working out with a personal trainer. I'm losing weight and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not to mention, there are lots of cute guys at the gym that really respect a women who's making a positive change in her life!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:46pm
Guess I'm lucky to be working out at a gym where most everyone's friendly. I live in the NE too. I don't think you should go there trying to pick someone up, but you may meet new people - just like beerchick said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:49pm
hmm I dunno, I've gone to same one for over 2 years now, and I've never talked to anyone there. I never talked to anyone at the last one i went to either, which I also belonged to for 2 years. I don't go there to meet guys, I go there to work out, and I am very serious about it. According to all my friends this is precisely why I should meet someone there, but I doubt it would ever happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 4:01pm
I find the drug store is a good place.

Just hang out in the condom aisle. They come marching by, and you get to see what sort of "protection" they're buying.