How to answer "Why are you single" ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
How to answer "Why are you single" ?
8
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:27pm
Does anyone have a really good way to answer the question "Why are you still single"? I'm on a great first date last night and he asks me what a beautiful, smart, successful woman like me is doing still single at 32 - and I was totally stumped for an answer. I didn't want to be too deep and explain the difficulties of educated, successful, independant women in finding men who are not intimidated or terrified of us; I didn't want to sound condecending and explain the existence of an entire generation of wimpy, pansy, spineless, scared-of-their-own-shadow kind of men who are in the dating pool; I didn't want to sound jaded and explain that most men today think of women as collectable computer programs - they want as many different versions as they can get and are always looking to upgrade to the latest model; and I didn't want to sound too high maintenance by saying something coy like "No one's been able to catch me yet." Does anyone have any good, light-hearted, funny responses to the "Why are you still single" question??
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:33pm
Simply state, "because I haven't found the right man yet."
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 9:39am
I HATE this question. A guy asked me this last year on a first date, and I responded that I hate that question, to which he said - no really, what's wrong with you? Argh!!!

I agree with the other poster, I usually just say that I haven't met the right guy yet. There are a million sarcastic responses floating around out there you could use (someone posted them awhile ago), but I prefer to be straightforward and move the conversation along.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 11:06am
Simply state, "I have no idea how to answer that question". Say this in a sincere and straightforward manner. Say it while looking him in the eye. Then say absolutely nothing. NOTHING.

He will know the ball is in his court. He will also know what you know -- that there's no real answer to this type of question. Most important, he will also know he was putting you on the spot by asking it -- which he did intentionally, didn't he, and which didn't show a lot of care about you being comfortable now, did it.

In his defense, a lot of guys probably ask this questions as no more than an "ice breaker" and may not realize how much they put you on the spot. If you answer in the way I suggest, they'll know real fast.

The beauty of this response is that it is -- purely and simply -- the truth. He may be intimidated or impressed by the fact that you are courageous enough to say something which is so utterly honest. He may also be relieved to discover that you're someone who doesn't play games.

I would not say, "Because I haven't found the right man yet" because that will prompt him to inquire (and some smart alecs will be happy to ask...), "Why haven't you found the right man yet?" The game will go on, and on, and on.

Don't let anybody play with you this way. You owe NO ONE an explanation. Especially at the young age of 32 for god's sake.

Good luck.




Edited 4/27/2004 11:09 am ET ET by thistle884

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 11:18am

I used to say: "probably for the same reason you are."

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 4:47pm
Hey, I am in the EXACT same situation. I'm 29 and so fed up with dating I feel like throwing the towel in. I've had the same question asked of me repeatedly and I usually say 'there are so many elements that have to be there for something to work out, it's like finding a needle in a haystack'

maybe that isn't the best answer but it's honest. If I really liked the guy, I probably wouldn't be that honest, I'd say something more like, I haven't found him yet, but ask me again in a few weeks ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:55pm
"Coz I havent been fed up with that question yet"

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:25pm
The easiest answer is just to say "because that's been my choice"... that's one he can't argue with.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:16pm

Uh - isn't he in the same boat??


Maybe ask, "I could ask the same thing.

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