how to ask out a colleague
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how to ask out a colleague
| Wed, 10-13-2004 - 9:47pm |
I've had a crush on a colleague now for 6 weeks. I've seen him each weekend with others from my workplace since I began this new job. He's a great guy who is friendly and helps everyone, so I have trouble telling if he is interested in me especially. My feelings for him are very strong and at the point where I need to do something because I can't take the joy from when he smiles at me to the lonliness I feel when I don't see him all day. Problem is that I don't want to make things complicated for him or ruin the ease that exists when we speak now. I was thinking of asking him over to make a pizza sometime - a casual thing yet it gives us time alone together. My friends think that if he says yes, it indicates that he is interested. If he says no, then he's either too busy (which he definitely is and so am I), not interested, or doesn't understand what my invitation means or that its very important to me. My other idea was to ask him to a music performance, but its in another city and that might be too much pressure for a first alone date, yet it would give me a clear indication if he is interested. I've read lots of advice columns saying you shouldn't tell a man how you feel. Yet, I will regret it if I keep dragging my feet in fear of rejection and he ends up dating someone else. Any advice? Anything I can do to improve the odds that he will accept my invitation?

I know you'll probably get alot of flack here because people say you shouldn't date anyone you work with. I disagree. As long as both individuals are discreet and professional and mature it doesn't matter. Many couples have met and even married through work.
Now, if you really want to ask him out, I say skip the music performance in another city. That's a bit much. I think a casual lunch is nice and you can ask sort of matter of fact. You know, casually ask.
I don't know of giving you any advice that he'll accept. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. It's a risk. One I'm not comfortable in taking anymore but every one's situation is different.
Also, I say this alot, but I think time and patience will prove anything else.
Good luck.