How can he say, Let's take a break?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
How can he say, Let's take a break?
4
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:03pm
I'd been with my boyfriend since January, on and off. Then, we were together all summer and just broke up about 3 weeks ago. Except he says we're on a break. Just what exactly does a "break" mean? He gets mad when I say that we're broken up to anyone, but then he doesn't even call me to see how I'm doing. Infact, in the past 3 weeks I have heard nothing of him. I personally take it as a sign that it's O-V-E-R, right? But just as I start deciding to move on, BAM! he shows up outta nowhere, and tugs on my heart strings all over again, he kisses me, and tells me he loves me... I've made myself physically unavailabe to him thinking that's all he wanted, and he still comes back. I know I'll never forget him, he's the first guy I've ever let see so much of me, (physically and emotionally). How can I understand what his intentions are? Or is it that because we've shared so much he still cares about me but doesn't understand the boundaries? Please Help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 3:11pm
hey,iv been 'put on a break' once,but it meant that he no longer wanted us to be together but was too scared to say so,so 'being on a break' was the simplest way to get out of it,and using my emotional breakdown over it as an excuse as to not get back together,but in your case,i cant help but feel suspicous that he likes someone else,maybe hes got an interest in some other girl but maybe its not goin too well and so he goes back to you to fall back on,or he could be wanting to go out and see other girls but wants you as well,so its up to you to decide if you want to put up with this or you finally except he isnt worth it if he aint willing date properly.Ask him of his intentions of you two ever getting back together properly,if he cant decide...you will know where you stand
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 7:16pm
I hate it how he plays games with me, but you're right, what he's doing and what you're saying makes perfect sense. He's become interested in someone else and he wants me there just in case sh*t doesn't work out with the new girl, right? I really don't know what to think anymore, on-N-off, on-N-off, bullsh*t. F*ck all of this, I'm just not returning any more of his phonecalls, it's becoming too difficult for me, and if he really was sure of me, no matter how young we are, he'd still be here and we'd make it work. I deserve better, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 3:59pm
Yes, you do deserve better. And don't forget, if you keep taking him back, he will take you for granted...As in, you guys are "on a break" (man, I hate that expression), that means that he can be with other girls without you having a right to get mad, because, hey, you're on a break. Yet, when things don't go as planned, guess who's there? You. Because you love him so much, you can only hope that he'll come back.
But, if you continue this, you'll begin to see a pattern. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 11:05pm
Thanks for your support, It has been really hard for me to deal with all this drama. I want to hate him and never have to deal with him ever again, but like I said, he's been a good experience up until this last time, I just don't know how to deal with it so much. I don't know how to go on planning my life without him, because everything I did, I've gotten used to discussing it with him being a part of everything. Sometimes I won't even do anything with my friends because he'll call and invite me to a party, Yeah, it's really horrible.