how can I get a date offline?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
how can I get a date offline?
9
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 12:41pm

Hi All-

I haven't been on a date for a year, since I moved to a new location. When I first moved here I met a great guy on match.com whom I dated for about 2 months before he broke up with me for someone else. I have been using match for years now, and back in boston I would be able to get a date fairly easily. But since this last guy I dated here, there has been no one I've been interested in writing back to (I think in some locations, online dating is still considered to be for losers).

the problem is, I really just want a date. I just want that little bit of excitement in my life, you know? I keep thinking about this last guy I dated, a year ago, and I need something new. I really want to stop thinking about him.

So how do I get a date offline? I've never done it. No suggestions of joining clubs and stuff thanks, because I've already got all the hobbies I need (and none of them have happened produced any datable men). Can I approached people at the grocery store? (there's no public transportation here, so that's the first thing I think of). If so, what can I say that will make me seem intreguing and not really lame?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 7:55pm

have you tried bars or clubs? I know that's not everyone's fav but if you're looking good when you go you might get that date (;

aside from that...friends of friends? I dont know myself...or i wouldnt be single...i am considering online dating...i'm actually in boston (:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 8:57pm

>aside from that...friends of friends? I dont know myself...or i wouldnt be single...i am >considering online dating...i'm actually in boston (:

unfortunately everyone I know down here only knows the same people I do (we're all grad student transplants, and if there were a single guy anyone knew, I'm pretty sure everyone would want him for themselves).

the bar scene around here isn't great- mostly undergrad bimbos.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 11:24pm
Hi. I also have had luck in online dating before but not lately and I decided a while ago to stop because it was just getting lame where I live. I met my current bf at a MAC store for computers. Sounds equally lame but we were shopping for the same laptop and working with the same salesperson since we both freelance and work in the arts so it connected us. I guess what I am trying to say is just to keep your eyes open and especially when you are out and about and have your passions and hobbies on your mind. It is then that we are really being our true selves and tend to attract other people. For me this is not when we are food shopping but if you are a chef maybe that would be different. You can meet someone anywhere. Anywhere you are exuding your true self that is - in my opinion. You dont have to go to a club or a bar scene for that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 11:39pm
well i think it would be easier to find a date, IF that's all you are looking for as you said (the OP). If i wanted simply a date with someone i'd be more likely to go to a club/bar than a computer store...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 12:03am
true. It is easier to get just a date at a bar or a club if that is what you are after. I think if they are confident, women have an easier time finding this even than men do in bars etc. I just dont like that scene. never have.
Also, if I could choose a place to meet someone great it wouldnt have been a computer store - I realize this is lame:) it is what happened though and it kind of proves my point I guess which is that if you are being yourself and you are out and about you will meet people! There is no right place - I think it is all about being comfortable with who you are and open to new people...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 2:38pm
I'm really curious...where did you move to? Sounds like its so far removed from the rest of the world! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 2:56pm
I currently live in DC. I have however lived a little all over the world because of what I do. The location isnt necessarily the deciding factor on how to meet someone. My point was there is no deciding factor. There are a ton of people here from just about everywhere and so I guess I find it a bit overwhelming in bars. Have never had trouble finding dates but certainly dont have time to date all the time and with people who arent necessarily going to be my cup of tea. I honestly just feel I meet better people outside of the traditional dating scenes. I dont feel far removed at all - just trying to be honest in my experience! You have to be true to yourself before you can find happiness in a relationship in my experience.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 3:08pm
OMG!! I was just in DC a few months ago for a conference and boy! The men there were BEAUTIFUL!! I mean seriously, it was like walking through a town full of models. I was in shock!! I had heard the city had a ton of fine men but WOW! I was mad that I heard this AFTER I got back! I was stuck hanging out with my nerdy co-worker (guy) and kept trying to lose him in the crowd. Sadly, he never got lost!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 3:19pm
Yep tons of eye candy here in DC for both sexes I think. My current bf does not flirt and is kind of vocal about how if people are happy with who they are with they dont need to be scoping out everyone. I tend to enjoy the eye candy element to the city but dont see it as a threat to him at all. I dont look around when he is with me but in dc that can be challenging. Especially in this heat, lots of people are half nude running around.
In terms of dating I was trying to say before that it is kind of overwhelming. Maybe the location and your experience makes that make more sense now. Too many choices isnt necessarily a good thing. Lots of beautiful people doesnt equal lots of quality people. It just means it takes longer to find the quality people because you have to work your way through the crowd.