How can I get my ex boyfriend back?
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How can I get my ex boyfriend back?
| Mon, 06-14-2004 - 8:57am |
I’m currently in the midst of trying to rebuild the relationship I had with my boyfriend of two years. Things started taking a nose dive when he relocated to another city due to his job and I continued to have self-doubt, self-criticism, and the uncertainty of my job. He said before he moved that he didn't want to lose what we had; however I became lost in my negative thoughts instead of what was in front of me. I never knew if he was looking at planning a life with each other or not because the subject of marriage never came up and I didn't feel confident to bring it up mainly due to the fact that he was divorced and the previous relationship he was in, his proposal was rejected. I understand that he is cautious, but there comes a time where he needs to decide whether or not he wants to commit. Things became pretty bad this past Dec. We took a trip to Hawaii and lets just say the first week we fought most of the time. We both threatened each other that we were going to pack our bags and head for home, but we stuck it out. He said that we needed to take a break from one another once we got back (even though he called me the next day). Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would break it off. I made a commitment to myself that once we got back things needed to change both with our relationship as well as myself. He as well needed to do some self reflection since he seems to be so self-centered at times, especially the times when I desperately needed his support. I began to read Self Matters, Complete Confidence, Relationship Rescue, but by the time I got myself turned back around and going into a positive direction he wanted to call it quits. I have been in contact with him recently and have told him my desire to rebuild our relationship the right way by taking the negative energy consisting of bad spirits and redirecting it with positive energy, which brings in more personal relationship values. He said that he doesn't want to give me any "false hopes" and that he's afraid to take the risk because he feels that the relationship will go back to the way it was. He always looked at himself as a guy whose glass is half empty. How can I make him realize that the relationship won't go back to the way it was and make him realize what a great relationship we would have if he just gave it another chance. I'm currently reading How To Get Your Ex-Lover Back as well.

Consider that he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with you and that this is his way of backing off from a proposal. Whether or not you were talking to him about marriage, at two years time...it's not an unlikely expectation.
Don't contact him for a month or two and then check in. Listen to how receptive he is...is he pleased to hear from you or dismayed, brusque or out right annoyed? Maybe if you lay low for awhile, and let him mull things over without your prompting, he'll come around? Decide what is an acceptable amount of time for you to wait for him and hold yourself to that date. Don't waste a year waiting for someone who's told you it's over.