How to deal with unresolved Issues?
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How to deal with unresolved Issues?
| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:40am |
An ex that I have been involved in for a year and a half said he didn't want to talk to me anymore a couple of days ago. That evening I listened to all he had to say. I even listened calmly when he said things that would ordinarily make me angry and just asked for clarification and let him explain. At first, I felt good because I left graciously. But, that morning all of these unresolved feelings wrestled me down. I realized that I listened to all he had to say and didn't say how I felt. So, I called and said that I wanted to say goodbye and find closure. I thought he would understand, because I depended on him so much. He was the first person I told about the sexual abuse and the only person who was supportive if I called in the middle of the night with a flashback. I felt deserted because I depended on him, so much. But, when I said he deserted me he cut me off half way through what I needed to say and wouldn't let me finish. I know I should have said "I felt" But, in the other conversation I listened to him even when he said "you are trouble," which wasn't the best way for him to get his point across either. I asked him to at least just let me leave a message saying the rest and he can choose whether to listen once he calmed down. He said if I left a message it would be stalking. I was so hurt that someone I opened up to so much, who said he cared about my well being would say something like that. Or that he would not want to at least end on a good note with both parties walking away from the conversation satisfied. I wasn't trying to reconnect. I just wanted say goodbye, close things and let us leave feeling like we said most if not all of what we needed to say.
So, now, how do I express these unresolved feelings. I have journaled, I have wrote and said out loud and I still feel shorted. I still lack closure.

I highly recommend NOT turning to someone else - but turning inward.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com