How do I break up with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
How do I break up with him?
3
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 12:32pm
Okay, I'm ready to dump him. Thanks to input that confirmed I have every right to be suspicious and upset that my boyfriend of 3 years is excluding me from areas of his life. ie: screening phonecalls, keeping me from other social areas of his life.

My past experience has taught me that sometimes relationships are like puppys. You have to catch them in the act of peeing on the floor to make it clear this behaviour is unacceptable. So... here's a question, do I wait for the next unacceptable behaviour to set the example of why I'm saying "Ciao Bebe" or do I just go over tonight and lay it all on him. All the reasons of why I don't trust him, how I'm feeling and why I'm ending it. Right now he has no clue this is going on in me.

My instinct is saying play it cool in the mean time and when he "doodoo's on the floor", rub his nose in it and end it right there. I know the probability of another screened phonecall is just around the corner.

Advise please.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 1:52pm
Well, I would have the talk with him, unless you have no reason to think that he can or will change his behavior, in which case there's no reason to wait until the next episode...just end it now.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 4:59pm
If you can't trust him then why wait for a "reason" to break up with him or talk to him about how you feel and why. I would be tempted to wait for a mistake from him if it were me but I think I would be making the wrong decision.

I am sure there is someone out there who would treat you the way you should be treated. That is the best advice I can give...having recently recieved advice I didn't want to hear but still knew it was the best advice...and I am going to take it.

Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 5:32pm
If you don't trust him then that's reason enough to call it a day, IMO. But why play the blame game? Why not take the high road and just state that you can't continue in a relationship where you feel no trust for your SO. If he wants specifics, fine, but try not to be accusatory, vindictive, bitter, angry, etc. Just keep it in terms of how you feel and what you are looking for in a relationship. Not a list of all the things he did wrong. It's actually healthier and more satisfying in the long run to be adult about it and end it in the most positive way possible. Good luck.