HOW do I follow up?
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| Mon, 12-26-2005 - 1:04pm |
Hi guys! I haven't been on these msg boards in awhile but I'll try to be concise. I'm 26 yrs old, female, and I've been single for almost 2 years now. Even though I've never really been into the dating thing (cuz' I don't know how...), I haven't been in a relationship in a long time and would really like to start meeting guys, but it's somewhat frustrating for me to meet new people since I only have a small group of friends who I've known for years and I've been working at the same job for the past 5 yrs, and I've done the whole bar/club thing and pretty tired of that scene.
I consider myself attractive and think that other people do as well, since my friends and co-workers always say they can't believe I'm still single. Every so often a friend would would call me up and tell me that a friend of their's saw my picture and wants to get introduced to me and that they'll plan for all of us to hang out..then weeks/months pass and it never happens. It's not too much of a disappointment for me since I never knew the guys, but it would be nice to actually meet these guys since I don't get the chance to meet new people ...but I'm too shy or embarassed to ask my friends about it at the risk of seeming to eager. I think in the past 12 months I've had 4 of these potential set-ups that never followed through. So my question is: how do I follow up on these potential dates without sounding to eager ???? Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks for listening :)

First, learn to date - which is not about creating a future, or thinking about a future - it's enjoying this person for who they are in the moments you share, and that is it.
Second, realize that you being single for two years pretty much sends the message that you don't like ot date, don't want to date, or don't want a relationship. So if your friends are offering to hook you up - tell them yes, and follow up quickly with "so what did he say - when are we going out?"
Third, and this might be the real key to the problem/solution....how much interesting, exciting, and fulfilling do you have going on in your life. People that want to date you becuase you're "attractive' are only going to be intrigued at a shallow level for superficial reasons.
So how much of a "life" do you have going on? Because you'e asking your friends, to put you in contact with their friends......notice a trend here.
You're NOT goin out and meeting people thanks to what you pursue and are interested in in life in general........you're still hanging out with the same group, doing waht you've always done.
THEY however know people beyond "hanging out with the same old crowd, doing the same old things".........how you appear, present yourself, and "are" is a reflection on them.
If you're not realy into much int erms of having a great life - if you work and "hang out"....you're not going to reflect well on them, to the people they set you up with.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
If these are your friends they want you to be happy so there's no reason to be embarrassed especially since they're the ones who first made the suggestion.