how do i get my married ex-bfriend back

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
how do i get my married ex-bfriend back
3
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:35am
An year ago a met a guy and we both fell in love with each other. However we both live in different countries. He really seemed to be in love with me and insisted that i move to live with him. At the beginng I was not so sure, i wanted to get to know him better before I make such an important decision. He kept insisting and i was very indecisive and he -very impatient. Soon I understood that he was dating a girl and i stopped being in touch with him. He tried to renew his relationship with me, but i was really hurt and did not want to speak to him. Eventually he gave up and went on with his life. A few months ago I undesrstood that he married the girl he has been dating just for 8 months.

I know that he is still in love with me and the reason we are not together is because I was indicisive about mooving to live with him. I also know that he is not very happily married. So how do i get him back. is there anything i can do?

help :((
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:46am
You don't. You except it's over. He's a married man, whether you know it's not happy or not it's not your place to break up a marriage. Leave him alone. You made your choices and so did he.

If it is truly meant to be he will find his way back to you on his own, breaking up a marriage isn't the way to go sorry if it's not what you want to hear but sometimes we don't always get what we want in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 3:50pm

you cant get him back. is this a joke? are you serious about creating all that drama bc you're finicky? just bc you expect others to wait around while you take 8 months or however long to make up YOUR mind you think you can just waltz over and break up a marraige? do you reeeeally think this way? this post cant be real.


seriously. you do not know whether or not his marraige is happy. you are not the husband or wife and if you are recieving any info its probably from a third or fourth party granted you said how far away you live.


last, did you honestly think someone on this board was going to tell you HOW to break up a marraige?


i think you should move on and see a therapist to figure out why you feel its okay to be THAT selfish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 4:43pm
You are wrong actually. The reason why you are not together is not b/c you were indecisive. You were not indecisive. You made a decision -- the right one IMO -- not to move there b/c your gut instincts told you not to. Now that he's moved on, you're feeling rejected and suddenly want his attention back. Well, forget it please. You must move on like he did. Stop living in the past. Face the present and live in it. Only then will you find the happiness you seek. You enjoyed what was between you *in the past* and that's great, but now is the present and he is not in your life, so move on. He did. You need to do the same. Let the guy live his life and don't interfere. Again, he moved on (how long he knew his wife before marrying her is irrelevant and NOYB). It was not meant to be between you and him. There could be a man who's right for you right in your own neighborhood, so pull your head out of the clouds of fantasy you're living in and look around. Good luck.