How do i get past this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
How do i get past this?
5
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 1:12pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months and we are pretty serious. Since we started dating we have spent almost every day together. Whether it is going out to parties or just laying on the couch watching a movie, we always find time for each other. However, all of that is about to change....

He owns a huge farm and harvest season is about to start. He has warned me that he will be in the fields from about 6 a.m. to 11 or 12 p.m. everyday for the next two months. I am glad that he enjoys what he does but I have many concerns. He has said that he will try his best to see me but it will only consist of me riding in the tractor with him here and there. I know that he will always love me but I am so depressed about his new schedule that I can't get by it. I love him dearly and couldn't image myself without him but how do I get myself adjusted to this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 1:19pm
trbirchm...

To REALLY get to know ANYBODY...is to understand and accept.

What's wrong with you getting 'down and dirty'...and learning about his work and why he enjoys it? Granted...the process may not appeal to you now...but what if the 2 of you became serious enough to be married? Do you think his lifestyle (and what he loves) would go through a complete transformation?

Instead of holding your breath waiting for the next 2 months to end....here's an opportunity to...pardon the song quote from Tammy Wynette..."stand by your man!"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 1:29pm
I understand every part of his job and why he loves it. I would be out there everyday with him if I didn't have a job of my own. I plan on standing by him every step of the way but it is just hard planning our lives around his schedule. I think that once we do get married it will be different because then he will be coming home to ME every night since we don't live together now. But...that's all part of dating I guess!
Avatar for macgyver17
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 2:20pm
Adjustment to any change takes time. I am sure once he gets settled into his farm life for the next two months, you will get settled into your own routine of calling him, or vice versa and doing things independently or with your friends. YOu probably have forgotten what it is like to have some me time. These 2 months will probably fly by too and then you two can enjoy each other to a much more extent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 2:59pm
The exact same thing is going to happen in the spring during seeding season. It's the basics of life as a farmer. During peak seasons HIS schedule will need to be prioritized over yours. If you can't handle that then a relationship with a farmer is not your best choice.

You can make the CHOICE to get involved and support him rather than making the "poor me I'm depressed" choice it seems you have made.

What he would deeply appreciate is if you were to make him a hot meal and take it out to the fields for him. Much of my family comes from a farming background. It is a close-knit community that works together. Its hard work, but the rewards are awesome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 12:52pm
I don't think that I am playing the "poor me" girlfriend. I don't complain to him one bit but I do let him know how much I love him and will miss him when he is working. I think the work that he does is amazing and I am totally supportive of it and can't wait to one day be part of it all with him. I already take lunch out to him when he is busy and plan to do it a lot more when things pick up. Our lives are going to take a 180 degree turn and it will be a huge adjustment.