How do I know if he loves me?
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How do I know if he loves me?
| Mon, 09-19-2005 - 11:35pm |
I have been dating my bf for over 2 years. He comes from a very dysfunctional family and has a lot of commitment issues because of this. He is very emotional about things except when it comes to our relationship. I am completely in love with him but I have not told him. I am afraid that if I tell him that I will scare him away. Obliously we have not said this to each other yet and I really want to know but I don't want to lose him. I know that this is stupid but I really think that he is the one for me. I don't know if I should wait for him or if I should just tell him how I feel. We are really happy together but I feel like I will never know his true feelings. If you have any suggestions or similar stories please reply.

Even dating someone exclusively requires commitment. Has he shown that to you.
But that again, although a good sign, doesn't tell much. I have known guys who can be exclusive while dating, but really have no plans for marriage on their mind. I really feel you should tell him how you feel. Two years is a long time. Time is precious. You don't want to wait forever for a surprise in the end that only leaves you crestfallen. I would say, go right ahead, and tell him how you feel, and see how his reaction is. I believe he already knows? I think love cannot be hidden. It just shows. But it still needs to be expressed in words. Does he give you his time, and attention, and caring.
Do you "feel" loved by him? Is he attentive and sensitive to your feelings, or is he unpredictable and inconsistent. There are a lot of factors to look at here. Ask him gently how he feels about the both of you. It's better you don't put him on the spot by asking "do you love me?". Express how you feel, and leave the ball in his court. This way, you will know you are doing your bit to take things a step further. His reaction and words will then give you insight into your next step.
2 years is a long time to be in a 'non committal' relationship w/ someone you call your boyfriend. are you talking more long term committment - ie marriage?
i don't think you could come right out and tell him you love him, however you can do it in a more subtle way by discussing your relationship and your feelings together.
good luck