How do I meet guys, I mean really

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
How do I meet guys, I mean really
29
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 11:16pm
I can't meet ANY. And I've been doing the online thing for long enough to know that I am quite sick of it. In ordinary life, I NEVER meet any single men in their 20s. I mean WHERE do people meet? I worked with a bunch of guys my age at my last job, but they were all in serious relationships or engaged, so I never even considered any of them. My friends don't know anyone...my one friend who has a boyfriend with single friends has some kind of social hang up about introducing us to anyone...I just don't understand, am I supposed to pick guys up on the street? on the train? in the grocery store??? I mean how is meeting a guy possible, either there aren't any, or they lock themselves in their apartments and never come out!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 8:02pm
I've tried the starbucks thing. I think I've been going to a bad one. I've never been approached, and I can't approach anyone because everyone's always reading!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 8:14pm
Why don't you try something like this:

http://www.8minutedating.com/

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:55pm
My problem is more that I am super picky actually...if you go to organizations and clubs often enough you probably will find someone, its just hard to find someone who you click and feel comfortable with. And the guys I tend to fall for, and I actually do fall often enough, just don't seem to care enough about me. Well, there is this one guy...if you note I wrote about...that I really like but he has yet to lay his eyes on me. I dread the rejection if it is to come...that will scar.

Truth is, just meeting guys isn't necessarily a problem...because then I'd have it easy. I guess I am a picky prick.

But yes...I definitely agree with the stuff you like, do it...although be careful...I took a tennis class, and the only person my age and not married was the guy on the other court my coach introduced us. Next time I saw him he didn't even look my way...now that hurts. Such is my luck, or has been.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 5:44pm
I sympathize with ya, hon. I just wanted you to know that....

Because I don't have many ideas you haven't heard.

I think the best way to meet people is through other people. But you said your friends won't fix you up... hmmmm. Well, how about parties? Does anyone in your circle have house parties? That's a good place.

Otherwise, it really is true that you stand a better chance of meeting men through mutual interests. Hey, take up golf or something. There are TONS of men out on the golf course every weekend, and perhaps somebody will "help" you with your swing(?) If nothing else, you'll learn a new skill!



Just curious... why are you sick of meeting men via online? (Personally, I just didn't like the men I was meeting online. 98 percent were socially awkward nerds... the other two were closet Gays.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 11:39pm
hey jilly,

yeah I am REALLY sick of the online thing. I hate going on these completely meaningless dates. (and i always get excited about them, and then realize why the guy is single the second I meet them).

I think I posted this earlier, I haven't been to a party in YEARS. I don't have much of a social life for a 26 year old girl. on the weekends I usually go to bars or rock clubs by myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 8:11pm
I have a lot of trouble meeting men too. I'm 31, and I do everything "they" say you're supposed to do to meet men... go out a lot, join clubs and organizations, smile a lot, look good, etc. But for whatever reason men aren't interested in me. Meanwhile, all of my friends get lots of male attention. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not overweight, I'm not ugly... I just don't get it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 8:22pm
What internet site have you used and why weren't you happy with it? I still think that is the most sensible way to find quality men, I'd be interested to know what went wrong with your attempts.
Avatar for jellybean1102
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:34pm
This may get lost in here, but I'll give it a shot! I have been married for eight years so I really dont need to pick up men. But when I feel the need for a self esteem boost I'll take the dog for a walk in the park!!! He'd work as a really good ice breaker for meeting guys. A dog will give the men an excuse to come talk to you. I get all kinds of men comming up to me when I have Bubby along;) Remember.... the guys are as afraid as you are, so they need a little encouragement to get them to take the risk to talk to you. A look. A little grin. God, I do miss dateing!!

Shelly 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 11:35am
hello to all you women,

i am reading from you its hard to find men. people say you are to picky. i am not writing to you to be mean or start a debate. i am recently divorced and how do i find you.

i was married for 20 years and i find myself starting all over again. yes i am nervous to approach women . i havent done this in a long time. maybe you can help teach us how to approach you to make us feel more comfortable in doing so. i dont go to bars and some of my spare time is taken up going to sports for my kids.

i am what some here call the average joe. yes i am stable in my life, i work hard ,make good money, and i dont go out partying. i do believe in having a good time, yes

but not to spend my money in a bar looking for women. last thing i want is to find a woman that is half drunk. MAYBE IT IS ME? i just feel lost out there sometimes.

i hope you all find who you are looking for
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 9:18pm
After reading these posts I see a couple of good ideas-dog, great idea. Walking some big goofy dog in the park is GUARANTEED to get some male attention. Wearing something that is a conversation piece is another great idea-a lot of guys just don't know what to say and therefore don't approach women, if you give them something to say to you that's a big help. As far as my own ideas,here are some things that worked for me before I was married:

-Forget trying to look cool and aloof-smile a lot and look like you're having fun. Flirt with the bartender and tip him well. If you're in Starbucks and reading a book and you see someone you're interested in, simply look up and give him a big smile, nothing more.

-If you see a guy you're interested in in a bar, send him a drink-then do nothing else. If he's interested let him approach you. Old trick and obvious but has worked for me.

-Be nice to everyone who talks to you-even if you're not interested. Be approachable, not one of those eye-rolling, "get lost, loser" looking girls.

-Try to completely forget that you're trying to meet a guy and focus on having fun with whoever you're with and whoever you happen to be talking to. Sing and dance with the music. Don't look like you are "on the prowl", look like you're out having the time of your life. Laugh a lot.

-Personally I always had a lot more luck with small, neighborhood type bars than big dance clubs. I met my husband (as well as a few other dates) throwing darts at an Irish pub.

-Edited to add one more-go to where guys hang out. A sports bar for the Sunday football games is a good one-if you can wear your team colors even better.


Edited 4/24/2004 9:20 pm ET ET by liveanew