how do I meet someone not online?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
how do I meet someone not online?
10
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 9:25pm
I've never been on a date that wasn't online personals, and I really don't like online personals anymore-I don't think this is the way to go. But I haven't met ONE single guy in about 4 or 5 years, since I was in college. I have taken classes and I was in an outdoors club, but I didn't meet anyone there or at work. I have never had a boyfriend and I am very scared I'm never going to I am really desperate for suggestions so anything anyone can think of I would appreciate. I live a normal life, I go to work and go to the gym 5 days a week and am basically very normal, but I have no ways to meet men.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 3:57pm
How about going to places where men are mostly found... not bars but church or even Home Depot, Lowes, Radio Shack.. etc. That has worked for several of my friends. Guys are always willing to help a woman get something high on a shelf ;) or to answer a question that MEN know the answers to. If you are going to the gym 5 days a week, maybe you are in so great a shape that guys are intimidated by you thinking you might not be interested. If you are really into the workout maybe they are looking at you but you don't notice so they don't pursue. Also, do you wear rings? My sister's current boyfriend told her he liked her for a long time but as she was wearing rings (on her right hand even) he thought she was seeing someone or married. Whenever you see a guy that you like... smile immediately (just don't look desperate). As that old commercial... you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Just my meager $.02 Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 9:22am
well..I'm not religious, so church is out. Aren't most guys at Home Depot married? I mean, they probably own a house if they are at home depot. I don't think Home Depot is good because I'm looking for a younger crowd. But I guess this is the right track- where do you think I might find YOUNG single guys? I hang out in record stores a lot, just because that's where I like to be, and I look around for cute guys, but it is hard, I never really find any...where do you think they are?

I do wear rings, but not ones with stones or anything.

Haha I don't think the guys at the gym are intimidated- I'm in good shape but I don't look that great. There aren't many young, cool guys at my gym.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:23am
First of all you underestimate yourself. If you go to the gym that many times, you are probably just being modest and do look great. Think about it... guys are very impressed with women who take care of their bodies and I don't have to be a man to know that. Is there a park where you can jog or walk at? That's another good place. There are not just older married men at Home Depot. I live in the Northeast and there are a lot of nice looking college students working at Home Depots and Lowes. I kidd you not, a few of my friends are seeing guys who they met there while asking them to get things from top shelves that they couldn't reach. Hey... you don't have to buy the item... put it back somewhere you can reach when he's not looking! ;) Can you take your rings off when you do go out? I know rings are beautiful and very feminine but even if they don't have stones, guys usually look at women's fingers (I have three brothers who told me this) and if there are rings, they figure they are taken, no matter what finger they are on. They told me this because I too had rings. I told them it was nonsense but like they said, they always wonder if the girls are wearing rings that the current men in their lives give them; this is the truth. I myself am not super attractive but I have noticed that when men look at me (the two this year... HA HA) that the first place they look is my hands. They proceed to smile at you when they notice no rings. Hang in there... it's when you least expect it. Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:53am
I have been looking for someone walking a dog, but I haven't found anyone since I've decided this might be a good idea. You can always talk to someone with a dog, even if you just say "cute dog." Everytime I walk through the park near my apartment I look for guys with dogs. I see a lot of couples with dogs...

I don't know, it just seems so hard, and other people seem to have it so easy. I have this guy friend I've known since i was 14 who has never not had a serious girlfriend. He just goes from one three-year relationship to the next without ever having gone on a date or picking up strangers. How is that possible? This is just one example, it seems to happen to almost everyone I know! I couldn't even get anyone in college, the easiest place in the world to get someone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 11:54am
Try a different gym! LOL

Go to a sub shop/pizza shop at lunchtime - lots of men. You don't have to get food there; just go in there and buy a water or something.

I saw a lot of guys in Dunkin' Donuts getting coffee this morning - try going to a coffee shop/breakfast place some morning.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:58pm
hmm, I go to dunks every morning...

actually this is off topic but yesterday I was in Souper Salad and it was packed, and all the women were huddled around the salad bar and all the men were in line for sandwiches. That's so weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 2:04pm

In regard to why all the men were in the sandwich line and all the women were around the salad bar....


It's the carbs.... men aren't as concerned about eating carb-laden bread as women are.


 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 2:16pm
hahaha my dad is obsessed with carb counting.

I think it's in general- carbs, calories, fat...I wish I were a guy. I'd much rather a nice hot wrap than a stupid salad.


Edited 8/10/2004 2:37 pm ET ET by buggie10

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 8:17pm
Hi again buggie,

I can't figure it out.... Are you shy? When men look at you do you turn away quickly? I only ask because I used to do that. I hear that men like to approach women who are comfortable in their own skin and smiling. Smile always because they may be looking at you when you don't know it. Do you know anyone that has friends or siblings that you might be interested in? Anyhow, I still think it's a good idea to remove the rings. I have a guy friend that I used to date but now friends only with because he didn't want a girlfriend and I wasn't going to play the friends with benefits game with him and I asked him your question this afternoon and he said that the bar area in restaurants is a good place... not bars alone, but the decent ones like the bar area in a Chilis, Smokey Bones, or restaurants with bar sections you might have locally. Guys are more likely to approach you there because they might have had a few (not drunks) and not be nervous about being turned down. Friend told me that many guys worry that a woman will turn them down so they don't approach unless they know for sure you won't tell them to hit the road. He said that when you see a guy you might be interested in, if he looks at you longer than it takes to scan a room that he may be interested... look back, smile and look away slowly before looking up again. I have to tell you that when he said that we laughed but even while laughing he said that although it sounds stupid it works. Anyhow, I wish you luck. Lucy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:32am
buggie10...

It's just a suggestion...but have you ever signed up for a trip FOR SINGLES ONLY?

You spend a week travelling somewhere by bus with other singles like yourself. The idea is to explore new territory and maybe make a new friend or two? Do some on-line searching or ask a few friends about the possibility?

Now this DOESN'T mean you're gonna meet up with Mr. Right? But then again...there's always the possibility that YOU MIGHT?

Just something to consider next time you have a week or two of vacation coming up?

Pianoguy