How do I meet a specific guy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
How do I meet a specific guy...
4
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:39pm
I spotted a guy, Alberto, who ran into a girl I know at UCLA. Don't ask what it was about him, suffice to say I am hell bent on meeting him. She emailed him about me, something vague I assume (as opposed to setting up a social thing like we decided) and he emailed he was too busy to date. This is wierd to me since the first things she excitedly said were he loves to dance and go out, and he is currently looking, and she spoke to his close friends, and they gave the ok to hook us up. And of course, he's never seen me. I don't know their relationship well, I don't know if she lied (he's pretty damn cute), or if it was an excuse on his part, if he's been set up before, or if its just the plain truth.

Well, I know where he is located, and I would like to attempt to bump into him. Being direct no longer works, because of the reason he gave. Luckily, a close friend, Jim, in my lab visits Gabor occasionally that works directly across from Alberto's lab. Jim even knows a couple of people in Alberto's lab as well. But, Jim is leaving next week or the week after (I'll be in New York some time in there too), and I don't know that he's serious about helping me out. I know Gabor in the lab across, but have only met him once, probably bumped into him before as well. However, so far it is the best reason for me to end up on the 6th floor of some building I have no reason to be in.

Does anyone have suave ideas that would allow me to place myself there? I really don't know that I can rely on Jim, especially in such a short span of time. I don't want to give Gabor the idea I like him perse, I don't know if it would be ok to introduce myself to these people in Alberto's lab since Jim knows them. I am a pretty attractive girl, and I suppose I could muster up the confidence, but I just don't know how to do this well. I am horrible at lying. And I have to meet this guy...the regret of not trying is unthinkable. Yeah, I don't know him, but I am pretty good at spotting people I like...who knows how these things work?

Thanks so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:45pm
i'd have your friend who knows alberto set up a casual outing... like hey where you going friday night? lets meet up . if shes never gone out in tha tsocial group, just have her do it anyways. never too late to have more friends.

in a friend group setting and go with her. see how the vibes are.

honestly, he sounds like he looking for something very casual. so be careful.

give him the vibest you are interesting and see if he takes the bait. if he does, great. if not, i'd try one more time , then let it go.

its tough in college (esp with guys) to be in a relationship. so much going on. I know I never wanted a relationship in college. I was hav'ng too much fun going out/partying, and spending tiem with friends.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:58pm
Mmm...I can't push her anymore, she's done her job. It would be weird for me, and I don't know that I can trust her, and she's not a friend on top of it. I have to do this myself unfortunately. I can't rely on people...I don't know why.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 6:47am
Does he have any interesting skills or abilities? Guys like to be helpful.

I don't like the idea of showing up at his office, it sounds like it would be really hard for you to make that look casual, and if he's working, it may be alot harder for you to get his attention in a "new friend" receptive frame of mind. Don't rush, hey you might meet, date and lose interest in someone else, and maybe by then things will make it easier for you to meet him.

But at this point, I'd definitely drop the meet-through-friends approach. If he's not receptive to that concept, he's less likely to be receptive to you once he meets you if he associates you with something he's already turned down sight unseen.

good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 9:45am
Yikes! You think that showing up at his lab is a good idea after he's already told your friend that he's not interested?? Honestly, I think showing up at his lab is really creepy and bordering on stalker-ish. I would NOT like it if a guy did that to me, esp. after I'd turned down an offer to meet through a friend.

Not to mention that he said he's too busy to date. Why not find someone who is interested and has time?