How do I regain his trust?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
How do I regain his trust?
3
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 2:56pm
I need help! I've moved out to MA where I know no one except for my boyfriend - to see if we like it enough to live with each other. Everything was going great, looking for apartments, talking marriage, etc. Last night my boyfriend happened to come across an email I had sent to a guy that I had chatted with - once for like an hour or so - what's worse is for no apparent reason I had sent the guy a photo of myself and mistakenly and sent the wrong photo. So basically I accidentally sent the guy a dirty photo. To top it off my boyfriend has trust issues - I've never cheated on him, never done anything to suggest that I have been remotely unfaithful. On occasion I've lied to him; My lies have been about really miniscule things. Now he's decided that he's done and wants nothing to do with me. I'm desperate to keep him and our relationship. Any suggestions on how I can earn his trust back? I just need advice, any kind of advice will be SO, SO VERY helpful.


Thanks~


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 3:35pm
Stop lying about ANYTHING (the magnitude of the lie is not as important as the fact that you have lied, IMO), and show him by your actions that you are trustworthy. Frankly, if I were him, I would not buy the "by mistake" story about the picture. I would say that action in and of itself gives him plenty of reason to think that you have been "remotely unfaithful". Stop making excuses, take responsibility for what you did, and show him by your consistent words and actions over time that you are trustworthy. You will need to be a completely open book to him for quite some time.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 8:54pm
You have to be truly remorseful, lay your feelings on the line and then ask HIM what you can do to rebuild the trust. He'll know. And then do all of those things to the letter.

If he's already got trust issues though, I think your chances are slim of his wanting to reconcile. If you're living with him, talking about marriage, etc. what BUSINESS do you have contacting new guys online, never mind sending them a picture of yourself, clothed or nude. That's how you guys met, right?? In his shoes, I would run.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 2:59pm
A question... why did you move to another state to, as you say, "see if we like it enough to live with each other?" That's a huge step to take just to try things out.

But what's done is done... looks like you have your work cut out for you. Hopefully, for your sake, your guy would at least consider the fact that you moved to be with him.

Good luck,

A~