How do I respond?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
How do I respond?!
9
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 1:38pm
OK here's the deal. I emailed this guy thats on TV, who i think is incredibly hot and awesome. I wrote about myself and sent him my picture and he actually wrote me back!!

Here's what his email said:

Dear Alecia, (that's me!!)

Wow,i want to let you know that i am very touched by your message,i want to

thank you for all of your support and warm kind words.I'ts nice to know that

there are people out there as open minded and beautiful as you.I would love

for us to stay in touch and share words and thoughts.I wish that i was able

to continue this letter,but i have to finish getting ready to meet with some

friends for lunch.As for the picture that you sent me of yourself,no,that is

not lame.It's nice to know and have a face or visual of whom you are making

friends with.We are human and we are visual beings.Please feel free to send

any photos anytime,that photo that you sent me was nice,your smile exudes

warmth,even through the photo.T'ill i hear back from you (hopefully soon)

take care and i will keep a good thought for you.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'm leaving who he is out of this cuz he's mine! LOL. Anyways how would you respond to this? I really really really want to keep talking with this guy but i have no idea how to write him back. I know this sounds stupid but i need help! It's not everyday someone you see on TV that you have a crush on (lol) writes you back and says they wanna keep in touch!!! Do you think from what he wrote he's interested?? I feel like a little girl!

Please...any advice on what to say back to him would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 1:51pm
Honey, it's a form letter...and he's not going to keep corresponding.

You're not atypical.....hundreds or thousands of girls have done precisely what you've done with this exact guy. And he's got agents and managers that answer the letters with form letters that it appears he signs.

It's to keep you watching the show, buying his albums, going to his concerts, or whatever it is. But he never saw the letter or your picture...the staff that handles his bags of mail did.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 1:52pm
you don't. he didn't ask you for your number or when you were free...imagine that you are in the public eye and that many women find you attractive, women who don't know the first thing about you, only your looks and work persona and who think they want to know you. do you ignore them or do you write a nice, generic note so that you don't appear a jerk? maybe he's used to this and wants to see a picture of you that shows more of you...I'm sure he gets those, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:19pm
Hi there.

I'm with Erin on this one. It's probably a generic form letter that someone who works for him wrote after seeing your email. But, for the curiosity in all of us, you could write him back for kicks and see if someone responds. You asked what to write, so I would thank him for writing and say that you'll "keep in touch" just to say that you wrote back. Keep in mind, he probably isn't that person who is actually writing you back. Okay, if we promise not to "go after" this guy, will you tell us who it is? I'm kind of intrigued by this story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 2:56pm
I think it is part of his job and image to be polite to all of his fans and I don't think he has any interest in pursuing anything with you whatsoever - he was just being polite and friendly. If he did have an interest in getting to know you better he would have made that very clear and would have asked if there was a way to get in touch with you. I would not respond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 3:44pm
Calm down... remember that he's a professional with an image to protect. Either this guy or, more than likely, his management are sweet talking you because you are a fan. Even sweet talk is cheap.

I wish I could give you what you want to hear, but I agree with the other posters. Respond or not, just remember that chances are this is where the communication ends.

Ivy

georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 7:03pm
I don't think celebrities should send fans this kind of "let's stay in touch" letter. Even if it's a form letter that his staff wrote, this is the kind of thing that encourages stalkers. If this girl were a loonie, she would now be CONVINCED that this famous guy wants some kind of relationship with her!

What she should have received is a very nice but formal letter from the star's publicity agent thanking the fan for her support... with NO invitation to keep corresponding send photos or future letters, etc. That was just stupid, and I don't know why they would encourage such a thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 7:11pm
You're taking a moral and ethical position of a personal nature into a business venture and that rarely is successful. Not that there's two sets of ethics.....there's not.

But face it.....In Sync, Boyz to Men, Back Street Boys - they're out to sell records, concert tickets, and promote products and be paid by sponsors for promoting those products and upping the sales quotas.

In a 1-on-1 situation - nobody should "lead her on" to believe that more is possible to have. But in a business situation - every day in every venture - marketing and promotions lead us to believe that more "is" there to get if we pursue it. I mean, we're not all going to be Shaq tall just by buying at Radio Shack! But the implication is "you're a big man if you buy here".

It is sad that this little girl can't discern the difference due to life inexperience between someone liking her as a person based on knowing her as an individual....vs liking her potential business revenue by buying CD's, tickets, and music videos....but that is what their business is. IT's "self-promotion" vs. promoting Clorox bleach. But, the fact is.......she's a little bit of a unrealistic dreamer....I hope her parents and friends rally around her and bring her back down to earth with helping her learn to like and accept herself and teach her how to create a great life for herself...so that she doesn't spend years or a lifetime hoping that "her magic prince will come and make her the princess she wnts to be."

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 8:47pm
First, I thought I should clarify that I wasn't criticizing your response to the OP at all.. I hope it didn't sound like that.

And my comments really aren't based on morals or ethics... it's a safety concern. Don't they remember what happened to the actress from the tv show "My Sister Sam" -- Rebecca Shafer -- in the 1980's? Shafer exchanged a couple of letters with a fan. The deranged fan later showed up on her doorstep and shot her to death. I believe authorities later acknowledged that her letters sent the wrong message because they were a bit too kind or familiar. And remember John Hinckley shot President Reagan and James Brady after exchanging letters with actress Jodi Foster.

This girl's celebrity letter went far past the bounds of a good "marketing ploy," if you ask me. I speak with some authority... I have spent the last 10 years or so of my professional life in public relations. There certainly was no reason to encourage her to keep sending photos of herself, for goodness sake! I'm pretty sure she would have been happy to receive a simple "Thanks for your letter" reply from the publicity department. And she would continue to buy his cd's or go to his movies or watch his shows, etc.

But you are also right that it's ultimately up to her parents, school, therapist to teach her the difference between fantasy and reality. Still, I think that celebrities have some responsibility to be prudent, however. If only to protect themselves.

And to the poster... I don't mean to imply that you are a deranged fan (smile). You sound happy and excited about your letter, and that's fine. But I'm just advising you not to believe that it's any more than celebrity "hype." Unfortunately, there are people out there who would react very strangely and violently to the "star's" stupid response to you.


Edited 4/6/2004 12:30 am ET ET by jilly73

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:08pm
To me, this doesn't sound like a generic form letter. If it is, I don't think it's right that a person or company would send these out to people. It's so deceptive! I also think you need to be logical about this. It's highly, highly unlikely anything would come of this even if he did write this himself. If he's on TV and he's famous, then he has THOUSANDS of fans writing to him and following him around, not just you. The best advice I can give you is to live in the real world and stop mistaking fantasy for reality.