how do i tell him im pregnant?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
how do i tell him im pregnant?
7
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 10:14pm

yeah

so how do I , considering that he is not interested in having kids? Our relationship has been a bit rocky and we just got on the same track with our feelings... and this happens. This can either make or break us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 8:27am
That all depends upon how you feel about it. Make a good dinner tell him how you feel and how the relationship is going and where you are headed . Tell him you love him and then come right out and say it. But if you two are rocky to begin with just beaware of what he might say. He also may calm down in a day or so.
You have to be the strong one for you two now.
GOOD LUCK
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 10:45am

missyfoosy...

Pianoguy started humming the song: "IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO" by Todd Rundgren---after he read your post.

It's too bad your b/f didn't choose to use protection to keep 'the bun from getting inside the oven'---BUT HE DIDN'T!

What you need to ask yourself is....

1. Do I want to be a 'single parent?'
2. Is this the sort of man I'd like to have around as a companion...as well as an influence for my future child?
3. Could I make 'a childless couple' happier if I skipped the parental responsibilities and put my baby up for adoption after it's born?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 4:07pm
Better come right out and say it. He needs to know so the two of you can decide how you want to proceed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 11:22pm
Missyfoosy, don't worry too much about what he's going to say. If he really didn't want children, he would have taken some precaution to prevent pregnancy from happening. I don't know if he thought you were on the pill or something and still, he should have been responsible on his side. The truth is, it takes two to tango and the child is both your responsibility. Both of you will need to take care of the child regardless of whether your relationship work out or not. I say, sit down with him and tell him what's going on. If he throws a tantrum and remind you that he didn't want children, remind him that it was easier said than done for him. I know that it's a very big thing to be pregnant so don't worry too much about how he's going to feel and just come our and say it. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 1:05pm

thanks for all the great advice. He is younger than me (25 to my 31) and still a boy in a lot of respects. I do love him a lot and feel that at 31 I should be ready for a child, even if he's not...we spoke and he feels that because we have only been seeing each other for 7 months that maybe this isnt he best thing to do right now....and i somewhat agree. It is this inner battle I have that makes me want to say, " hey I can do this with or without you" or respect his feelings here.

I just struggle with this "Adult" ideal of what you are supposed to do as an adult. Im supposed to have my life together. im supposed to not be in a situation where im dating a kid. im supposed to be ready for a baby at this age...Im not sure what's what anymore.

get back to me someone.... having a hard time talking to people i know about this

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 9:55am

You say:

"I just struggle with this "Adult" ideal of what you are supposed to do as an adult. Im supposed to have my life together. im supposed to not be in a situation where im dating a kid. im supposed to be ready for a baby at this age...Im not sure what's what anymore."

No, all you are SUPPOSED to do is be yourself. You can date whomever you want, whenever you want. The only thing you need to do is figure out what is right for you and your unborn baby. Don't worry what society, your friends, your family are thinking. Stand on your feet and make your own decisions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 10:17am
I don't think it's not "adult" to date someone 6 years younger than you, that's not a huge difference once both of you are past 25. It's irresponsible if you aren't sure about wanting kids or for him not wanting children at all to take risks like having unprotected sex, using ONLY a condom with no other backup plan to not get pregnant.