How do you act around your ex & SO?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
How do you act around your ex & SO?
2
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 2:30am
Hi everyone, I wanted to get some opinions on how you act around your ex & their new gf/bf? Me & my ex-bf broke up over a year ago (we were on/off for 6 yrs) and parted on good/ok terms..we didn't talk much after the break up but I guess you can say we stayed friends. I'm really close friends w/ his sister and some of his friends, so I would occasionally hear stuff about him or see him around now and then. I can honestly say that I am have no more feelings for him, and that I don't see us ever getting back, nor would I want to. Anyways, this past January he started dating someone (which I heard he was pretty serious about), and I started seeing someone new as well (which I was hoping to become something serious). Well, in January his sister got married and we were both part of the wedding. I saw my ex and his gf a on a few occasions, cuz' of all the wedding preparations, but it didn't bother me too much cuz' I was happy for him, and she's friendly, and also I was excited about my own new relationship. At the wedding my ex met my new bf and things were friendly and everyone was cool about it. Well, things didn't work out w/ me & the guy and we broke up a few months ago and I was sad for awhile but starting to get over him. Well, my friend's having a baby shower in a few weeks and I'm REALLY dreading it since my ex & his gf will be there, and I show up alone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I don't have anymore feelings for him, it's hard for me to face my ex & his gf when *I* don't have anyone, it feels weird and uncomfortable, and I get so sad & lonely...but when I'm with someone everything's great and I'm even able to hang out w/ them. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I acting immature?

Any advice or opinions would be great...thanks! =)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 1:05pm
xdopeyx...

You can do one of 2 things:

Visit your local "RENT A BOYFRIEND FOR THE EVENING" Store....or....and this makes more sense:

Don't make a big deal about the breakup! Attend the shower on your own! Pianoguy doubts that every woman in attendance will be paired off with a husband, b/f or significant other!

Keep in mind one thing, okay? There's NO reason why you have to make excuses or offer information about the 'split' to anybody! If someone asks you where "Tom" is...just say...IT DIDN'T WORK OUT BETWEEN US and leave it at that. "Enquiring minds" may want the full story...but it's none of their business!

Remember...your old boyfriend has become a FRIEND...and unless he has given off a signal or two that he wants to be 'back in love' with you...you shouldn't feel awkward or insecure.

While you didn't fill out a complete profile about yourself, I have a hunch you won't be a "lady without a date" for very long! Good thoughts come your way today from...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 2:45pm
You hit the issue right on target when you said that it's noone's business why my new guy is no longer around, and I can just say "it didn't work out". That was pretty much the real reason why I don't wanna' face my exbf, cuz' I don't want to explain my recent breakup, cuz' it's hard enough as it is. I'd like to add that again, I'm not someone who has to HAVE a date at every affair-although it would be nice =) -it just feels so uncomfortable and makes me a little sad when I have to face both of them, and I'm alone. I guess this stems from the fact that HE was the one who broke it off, and now HE has someone special and new. Maybe it's a pride thing that I need to get over. You're right, he's a friend and I should be happy for him, but it also reminds me of my loneliness.

thanks so much for your advice...it helped! =)