How do you change from 10yrs to 6months?
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How do you change from 10yrs to 6months?
| Sat, 03-11-2006 - 11:20am |
I have been dating a guy for 6months now. Everything went so quick because of we were both lonely and he had problems so I was there for him almost everyday of this months. I thought I was doing the right thing and still I have no problem seen him that much because we clicked just the first date but in his point of view he said it feels like we been together for 10 yrs. And he is trying to be distant little bit at the time that left me really sad. How and what can I do to make this relationship fresh and normally 6months? I don't want lose him because of this feeling any advice will be great.
Thank you.
Thank you.

If after 6 months, it's feeling like that it's hard... It's possible that he's trying to find an excuse to get out of the relationship. Let him back away and don't follow him. If he doesn't come back, then you know what you need to do.
It's not worth fighting for unless both people are going to fight for it, you know?
Kerry
soul1368...
If EVERYTHING went too quickly at the beginning of your relationship....PG is willing to bet that your b/f gradually ran out of steam?
It's a nice feeling when a man or a woman tells the other: "I feel like I've known you forever"----but if you think about this remark a little longer----it can indicate a few negatives (depending upon the tone of voice and how it's phrased)?
It's just a guess, but I'll bet there was a "this is much too familiar" pattern forming inside the man's head? And rather than risk becoming seriously involved with you, he opted to "fade out of your life?"
Sooooo....
What's wrong with keeping your distance WITH NO COMMUNICATION for the next month or so? If time is supposed to heal your relationship wounds...it will? But if it doesn't....then you need to realize THINGS ARE OVER...and MOVE ON!
Pianoguy
Pianoguy,
thank you for helping me realize few things. I was thinking what you told me about this relationship. And we did broke up two weeks ago we got back together two days later. I called him first I know that wasn't good move but he responded say that he missed me too. I don't know what he wants any more what I want and need is that security saying are we willing to work for this relationship or no I want to know but how?
I just want to let him know why it feels 10 yrs I was there every single time for him when he had serious problems and he told me he wanted to see me atlist three times a week and I liked that. Now that, his problems with his ex is getting better he wants to back up. I feel I am used and betrayed.
I want him to know what I feel and what happened here I didn't want to see him that often but I thought I was doing that right thing to be there and be good girlfriend or friend,really.
What do you think writting a heart felt letter with out saying good bye or anything just letting him know he is the reason I was seen him to feel 10yrs?
Thanks
Soul1368
hello again, soul1368...
PG thinks that if it'll ease your conscience and bring you formal closure....then write the letter.
Here's the problem I can see if you carry this out. You'll probably get hit with more emails, phone calls and text messages which include the words: "PLEASE DON'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS?"
Then what?
Pianoguy
Hello again PG,
I don't understand what you mean by....."You will probably get hit with more e-mails, phone calls, text messages" which include the words "PLEASE DON'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS"
Then what?
I think I missed here something sorry I am having difficult day.
Can you please explaine to me?
Thanks.
Soul1368.
soul1368...
Based on your original post and your first response...Pianoguy HONESTLY believes that writing a letter to him is A BAD IDEA.
I understand that you probably want some form of closure, but from what you've told all of us about him....writing a letter to end things WILL HAVE THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT.
The man won't let you disappear from his life? And that means you'll have to reject him a 2nd, 3rd or 4th time....in order for him to "get the message" that you want to end things NOW!
Pianoguy
PG,
You are telling me to dump him? I think what I need to do is give him space with out chasing him, questioning him or no contact at all unless he contact me. Are you thinking what I am thinking is the right thing to do? If he is really in to me he will come back if he is not well I can't change him just change myself I guess.
What do you think as a man?
Thanks.
soul1368.
soul1368...
Please re-read the previous posts....and you've got my thoughts on your situation.
Pianoguy