How do you know it is love?
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How do you know it is love?
| Fri, 01-06-2006 - 1:41pm |
I've been dating a wonderful man for the past 5 mos long distance (see each other 2-3 times a month). He is so wonderful in so many ways - kind, caring, loyal, honest, smart, financially successful, polite, etc, and he adores me. He's not perfect by any means though - not very sporty or adventurous, not as quick witted/charming as I like, and he doesn't like to be playful/silly/funny as much as I do. I do care for him and enjoy his company a lot ... but how do I know if I love him? I have had a very tumultous past with men and have managed to date every broken, messed up, unfaithful, twisted weirdo out there (not by choice... just seems all my princes turn back into really warty frogs after a few months), so I'm not sure how to judge real love anymore. In my past, when I thought I was in love it was a feeling of needing to be with that person - more obsessive and fearful of losing them than really loving them. Now I am with a man who is safe, secure, loyal and true and I am not sure I know how to recognize love without the fear. I ask myself, if he left me tomorrow how much would I hurt - and since my answer is that it wouldn't devastate me I may not really love him. Can anyone give some advise on this?

You'll know you love him when you love him. It's so simple yet complex. To me, love is that solid feeling of knowing that whatever the person needs, I'll try to be there for them. It's a feeling of comfort, like being home. It's a full feeling that makes you feel content. I think the best way I've ever heard of love described is this:
Love is patient and kind; it is nor jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patient never fail. Love is eternal.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
That has always helped me when thinking about love.
Hope this helps.
Kerry
If that isn't the million dollar question, I don't know what is!
I've had a passionate relationship without getting to know alot about the person.
I'm currently in a stable relationship with no passion.
Though I entered these relationships out of choice, I wouldn't say I was in love with either of these men. I care deeply for them, but I can't call it love.
I think there is more to love than a stable relationship. Or lots of passion. It is a knowing that you are right for each other, you are there for each other no matter what, you're on the same team. There's a common sympathy, a deep rooted friendship, a kindred spirit. You just can't survive without the other person. Differences and faults don't matter much, it's easy to forgive the other person -- you can look past their flaws. You and only you see beauty in this person where others can't. I'm still looking for that kind of love.