How early is it to discuss "our future"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2003
How early is it to discuss "our future"?
2
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 5:01pm
This is the question for the women here. When do you expect to talk with the guy you're dating about your future together? I don't you can't always be specific about these things, but can anyone give me an approximation or something?

Here's the thing. Whenever I date anyone, usually from the very beginning we discuss future goals and so fourth. I tell her the things I want to accomplish in my life, and I listen to what she wants from hers. That's all fine and dandy because those are our individual goals....but I've been reading a lot of posts through the boards here where people say they've dated for like 2 months and already discussed their long term future together.

Am I strange for thinking 2 months is too soon for future talks? Keep in mind I'm only 24, so obviously my age plays a part, but I like to think of myself as cautious. What do you guys think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Talk about your goals and where you forsee yourself 5 years from now. Ask your date the same. Take it very slow. If you are in doubt about being serious, continue to date. If you are sure about being serious, then wait about 6 months before the real deep stuff.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

My opinion is that its the age. At 24, I didn't like discussing long term r/ships - period. Now that I am 32, guys tell me on the first couple of dates what they are looking for. They don't want to waste their time - they want a wife and they are clear about that. Of course, that doesn't mean they want ME...only that is the intention of dating for them. I actually find it refreshing and more enjoyable now.


Go.