How to get past the blahs and find love
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| Thu, 09-23-2004 - 5:57pm |
Case in point...there is a man in my life now...on the surface he would seem like the perfect guy if I didn't feel so unfulfilled with him. When we met everyone thought I was a complete fool to not totally worship the ground he walks on (including him) because he is handsome, charming, and successful. Unfortunately he is also very busy and self absorbed, and his time for me seems to be last priority. He is used to women being at his beckon call bending over backwards to accomodate him, but even when I try I feel like I play second fiddle to everything else in his life, which makes me feel lonely.
Anyway, we went out for a while, and I told him I wanted to see other people, and he would not have that, so we parted ways for the past few months. Now he is back and I get the idea that he intends to make me pay for insulting his pride. He is cold with me, and we don't talk much..he just comes by late at night for sex and leaves, yet he still questions me relentlessly about how I spend my time, and acts suspicious and hateful most of the time.
Perhaps if I just hang in there and earned his trust, and learn to settle for less of his time than I would like, and make more sacrifices for him, it might be ok...I have nothing better to do, and no motivation to try dating new people...but I would really like someone to love me. How can I get past the blahs and get motivated to find what I really want?

Oh hon. Why are you subjecting yourself to such treatment from this man?
Start
As for the rest, you'll get motivated to get out and date again when you're ready to do so. This is a great time to work on yourself, do your internal housecleaning, so to speak. If you are at all spiritual, I'd highly recommend reading "In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant.
Sheri
I guess I sort of feel that I was being a baby/am a baby/need to grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around me, but I can't help feeling jilted. I guess this is how I am. My pride is the only think that has kept me from trying to meet new people. All my family and friends tell me he is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I won't find anyone better, and I am afraid if I try they will be proven right
As long as you realize that you are deserving of a loving relationship. You do not have to settle for his ( MIddle of the Night Booty Calls ) If love is what you want, you probably are looking for it from the wrong dude, But if you are looking to get laid he is definitely your man. Another thing that I have learned is that when a guy tells you that he wants to be " just friends " IF you have a physical relationship and treat him like a piece of ass, he will be a little more inclined to treat you like he cares about more than the sex. Guys like to be able to treat women like sex objectts, but they don't know how to handle that, especially from a woman that they have genuine feelings for, even if he has been allof about them.
Hope I helped you at least a little.