How to get your "claws" in a man

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
How to get your "claws" in a man
5
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 2:27am
I'm a 29yr old single female and never had a boy friend. I can get the guy but i donot the right technique to use to keep them. I used to think it was about sex. But know i know i am damed if i do and damed if i don't. There use to be some technique out there to get a man to be interted enough for a second or relationship i have no idea what it is Please help me withthis. People always say that they are not ready to settle down but after i go out with them one is all and then they are in a realationship with some one else

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 11:39am

First of all, stop referring to it as getting your CLAWS in a man.

 Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 11:42am
Maybe you were just joking - but I can't help you get your "claws" into a man. That would be wrong. I have the opposite problem from you so perhaps I can shed some light on your situation. Men usually tell me I'm fantastic bc: I have a FULL life with many varied interests and hobbies, I have a career I am proud of and that is morally and ethically in line with my values, I am very clear about who I am, I know what I want...and it doesn't hurt that I love sports, lol ;-)

I think you need to relax and just enjoy the process of getting to know someone. Once he gets to know you, then he will start to care about you. If he talks about his past...its like he is sharing himself and his life with you...that is how men bond. So listen to him, have fun with him and share your hobbies & interests.

But don't try to "force" anything...just let it happen naturally. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 10:27pm
I am also 29 and have the exact same problem. I am totally myself.. but they always run away after a week or 2. It is really frustrating, I totally understand where you are coming from. it's not that youo want to 'get your claws' into him but youo are looking for something that lasts... I understand. I wish i had the answer... just know that you are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 11:08pm
Usually, just be comfortable with yourself,

And, make others who are with you feel comfortable, too...

Perhaps, by being relaxed, easy-going, smiles, good level of toleration...

Be attentive, patient...

However, should mix the above with your + points, like intellegence, witty, womanly, name it..

It's good if you can 'click' with your date..

By choosing topic that you both are interested in, but the topic should not be heavy..

nice topics such as, perhaps... movies, songs..sports..?

It's not really good to think too much of what's next.

Just enjoy that moment..

because, that moment's what counts..for him to bring you to next level or not...

Try to bond with him,

If you can't bond with him, it's not your loss anyway,

because...you don't want to be with someone who doesn't share your interest..it'd be hard

to maintain the relationship anyway...

But, keep in mind, that you have to be yourself..


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 10:04am
Here is an idea for you. It has worked for me and many other people I know. Do you know the little saying that once you stop looking love will find you? Well, It's true. Do look for love or for a relationship. Guys don't want to feel pressured into something that they have no control over. As soon as they feel like you are putting the squeeze on them they run like the wind. Personally I have had no problem with getting a man. But they were never " the one". Since then I have had a little boy and his father and I are not together. But on the plus side I have found the one and I was not looking for him. It has been a year and 2 months since his ex broke his heart and I got the remains. But he was worth the wait. We have been seeing each other for about 6 months. We both want to take things slow. This is the route you should take. He and I were friends before we were anything else. It also makes me wonder where you are finding the guys you are going out with. Do you go to bars and pick them up? Try going someplace that is a little quietier and not so desperate. Don't think of it as getting your "claws" into a man but as finding a friend that you can enjoy spending time with. Mel