how to have a money conversation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
how to have a money conversation
13
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 1:00pm

So things are going well with my bf and we had a great time in CA together and we split the trip 50/50 which I was a little hesitant on as my finances are a bit tighter, but quickly wanted to go to be with him for a week. I know this may sound high-end/odd, but in my past five relationships, I have never paid for the trip and wasn’t expecting at the last minute for him to say well I paid air so you can pay hotel?—How does that sound to you when you hear me say this?

He is six levels higher than me in the company and probably makes five times what I make. I do come from a comfortable family, however, I am on my own which I have told him, yet he has made a couple remarks well you come from money to me; which are a bit annoying—he has only said it twice, but it annoys me as I have worked hard through school to be on my own. He wants to go on another trip in a couple weeks, well him to stay longer from a business trip and me to fly in to Arizona, which I have already been to and don’t really have a desire to go, but of course stupidly I immediately said yes, and now thinking that with my finances tight. How do I have this conversation with him?

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 1:33pm

You say, sounds like fun, can we talk about it later, please? And then when you're alone, you say, I'd love to go but my budget is tight this month (or whatever), so I can't afford it unless you're able to treat me this time (or whatever it is you want/need from him).

Easy squeezy. I honestly don't understand why this is so hard for you? Are you not an assertive person?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 4:48pm
Sheri gives good advice. How do you bring up the conversation? Just like you did here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 9:24am
Yes it's learning to communicate honestly, and
,

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