how long should we wait?
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| Sat, 06-23-2007 - 4:46pm |
So i started dating this great guy about two months ago...It went really well for the first month and then the second month things started dying down a bit. One of the reasons (and maybe only one) is that he has two jobs, one of which takes him out of town a lot and is quite physically demanding. He also has many meetings and physio appointments to attend for the this second job and all of this has really increased in the past month. So basically i was starting to feel like an after thought (figured if a guy likes you he will make the effort to call, even if its for a minute) even though i knew he liked me. I figured either he doesn't like me enough to make the effort or really can't handle all of these life/job pressures right now (he also just got notice to leave his house so has to find a new apartment).
So i told him last week that it wasn't working for me. That there wasnt enough time for us to get any kind of momentum going when we only saw eachother once a week and only spoke twice a week. I was just always feeling disappointed. He sounded pretty hurt, i don't think he realized (i guess life was consuming him) and felt badly. We weren't sure how to end the conversation, i told him to go do what he had to do and that maybe in a little while we can touch base and see.
And now its his bday today and i feel badly that i havent even called to say happy birthdya. I guess i am also confused about this. My thinking is that he needs time to figure out if he wants to make that extra effort to have me around. So i should probably just let it alone for a month or so right? Also, am wondering if i should apply the "he;s just not that into you" theory or if its possible for guys to really zone out when they are stressed??

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I don't see why you're beating yourself up for wanting what you want. Better to let him go to find someone who is ok with his schedule than for both of you to be frustrated.
I guess I don't really see what good waiting a month is going to do however, if he's still going to be just as busy then--do you really think you're going to change your mind about the amount of time you want to spend with him?
Sheri
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