how long before a title?
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how long before a title?
| Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:08pm |
How long do you think you should date someone before there are titles (boyfriend/girlfriend) given?
I have been dating someone for 3 weeks. We see each other about 4-5 times/week...but he still says we've "only been hanging out a short time." It drives me nuts. If we were only hanging out, I'd see him 4-5 times in total, not per week.

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i mean, it's not 100%, b/c a lot of guys will just introduce you as your name even after you've been dating for years, but it can be a good indicator sometimes, and you don't have to have the "relationship defining talk."
I haven't read the rest of the responses to this post yet, but thought I'd respond to what you said coz it's what I just went through.
B/ground...I wanted a perm r/ship, went on a dating site. Met a great guy who also wanted a perm r/ship. We got on so well together right from the start that we freaked each other out. LOL So we decided we'd see each other and just take things as they were meant to happen, as well as continue to see other people (not sleeping with other people). We knew it wasn't a situation that could go on indefinitely, but suited us because we didn't want the bf/gf titles as soon as we thought - and weren't sure if we were ready for the responsibility of a serious relationship.
Two months later (after seeing/talking to each other every day) we'd both seen about 4 other people each. I decided to eventually lay it on the line. Basically took him to the beach one night (not as romantic as it sounds - it was cold and rainy and windy and we had to stay in the car) and said that for all intents and purposes, to the outside world we looked as though we were a couple, so why not just cut the pretence and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, well at least we tried. I took a risk and laid my cards on the table, but I figured I'd rather know either way now than wonder forever.
BUT I also told him I didn't require an answer at that stage. Took him 5 days to decide he wanted to give it a go as well - and I dunno how I didn't go nuts during that time. LOL
Um..what's my point? Oh yeah....I've never done that before. Never laid it on the line and taken a risk at putting my feelings out there while not knowing the response I'd get back. I was preparing myself for him to say he couldn't commit (just like him preparing himself for me telling him I never wanted to see him again while we were sitting that night in my car).
Basically, I just gave it up to the world around me and allowed myself to say what was true for me, regardless of how the outcome might have sucked. In a way, it's pretty liberating. Reminded me that whatever happened, ultimately I would be ok.
I'd have that talk to your 'just friends' guy. Sounds like it's about that time.
Eve :-)
ps..I should also add that we've been 'official' for only two weeks and I think he's called everyone he knows on the planet to tell them he's "got a girlfriend now" - even his mother, while I was sitting next to him. Yikes! Typical Aries, can't make up his mind, but once he does, that's it!
Edited 6/10/2004 12:31 am ET ET by pureatheart11
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