how men have no emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
how men have no emotions
15
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 2:08pm
Hi, I have been hanging out and sleeping with someone off and on for 1 1/2 now, he says to me its just sex now with no emotions - how can guys do that?? i wonder if it't just the guy I'm with or are there alot of men like that???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 2:19pm
Real easy one here: Girls get emotionally involved (most of us anyway) when they have sex--guys don't. Don't ask me why--I don't know--if you were not in a monogamous relationship with him--why were you sleeping with him? Curious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 4:18pm
ally01923...

YOU could be the best woman in bed on this planet...and your b/f loves everything you do to please him. But that doesn't necessarily mean he's going to "take you downtown to buy a diamond or a new set of living room curtains!" A permanant life with you could be the farthest thing from his mind!

Don't want to burst your bubble...but some of the best women (in the bedroom) can actually make a man uncomfortable or embarrass the heck out of him in a social situation! Are there any traits of yours that annoy him or that he's told you about? The last thing any man is going to do is share a life with a woman who has habits he can't handle!

Now if you honestly feel that YOU are being used as "a sexual tool" and nothing more...and this is not what you want...GET OUT NOW! You don't have to take this crap or hold your breath waiting for "Mr. Stud" to appreciate your other talents!

Believe it or not...there ARE men who appreciate women for several of their qualities, whether they happen to be IN or OUT of the bedroom!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 5:08pm
I agree with Pianoguy on this one. This guy might really like you physically, or might love what you do to him in bed, but he might not like your personality. He might find you annoying or just embarrasing to introduce to his friends as his GF. So the way he might look at is, he gets the best of both worlds: he gets your body but doesn't have to introduce you around.

PS- No, not all guys are like that

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 5:14pm
Obviously you are emotionally attached to this guy by now. I have several guy friends that have told me that sex usually does deepen their feelings for the person they are dating. Have you guys ever dated or has it been a friendship/sex relationship this whole time? If he can look you in the eye after a year and a half of being intimate with you, and tell you it is just sex without hesitation....move on. You deserve so much more and there are plenty of guys out there that think sex is more than just a sport. One more thing...if he is having sex with you with no emotional strings, doesn't it make you wonder who he is having sex with when you are not available? Love yourself first sweetie! There are plenty of guys out there that want more than a roll in the hay. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 5:42pm
Some men and women will not do what he is doing, and some will. It's not just a man thing though I think more guys are capable of having sex without emotions (I assume you mean love?) than women. Are a lot men like that? I think so. It seems to me he may have had emotions (whatever that means) for you but no longer does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 7:36pm
sadly there are alot of men like that. the trick is to not get involved with one and if you are, unfortunatly, then get out quick!!!! befor you get in to far like me!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 7:47pm
isn't this supposed to be a help and support group NOT a group where you totally make the other person feel like crap?

i think you were totally out of line with what you said piano guy. and while i agree with you i think you could have found a more tactful way of stating your opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 9:41pm
It's simple, some people (men and women) can carry on these kind of "sex with no strings attached" deals. They consider sex as a pleasure that can be performed without emotional involvement. It's like they wear a new shirt every day and don't care if it wrinkles, as they can have another one the following day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 3:28am
My Q to you is why are you disrespecting yourself like this for???????/

The reason he says no emotional attatchment is because he knows you are disrespecting yourself by being his FB, and he will not have an LTR with you because of it! He does not respect you. He is using you for sex, and i guess its ok with you, since its the norm for women these days. I wouldnt want an LTR with you either.

Who else is he FB's with? And you? STD'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 10:17am
Hello - unfortunately I have fallen in love with this man - the other unfortunate thing is that I live below him now, I didn't when I first met him - I have done everything to forget about him and aviod him, and I have tried so hard but can't

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