How old...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
How old...?
5
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 10:56am

Hello...

I have a quick question. I've just started seeing someone who adores me. He's absolutely lovely and is a great guy, except that he's quite a bit older than I am - I'm 25 and he's 44. How old is too old? I don't mind that he's much older than me (I've always preferred older men anyways), but what do others think?

Thanks!

hb789

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
In reply to: honeybaby789
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 3:31pm

Hi,

I don't think a 19 yr age difference is that big. What is more important is the maturity level of the parties involved. I don't know about you but there's a big difference b/w a 25 yo and a 44 yo where as a 40 yr going out with a 59 yo is not as bad. I can only tell from my own experience is that someone in their 20's are not ready to settle down and is still trying to find her place in the world where as someone over 40's most likely has already experienced enough of life to know what they want and where they want to be. A 20 something is still receptive and even vulnerable emotionally while someone in their 40's is less likely to give in and more inflexible which could set the younger partner up for a rude awakening.

You may be attracted to older men but that attraction does not necessarily indicate you'd be acompatable. There's no age cut off per se but if you were 35 and he 54 that may have a slightly better chance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: honeybaby789
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 3:50pm
Different strokes for different folks. I personally havent' dated anyone much older than me (only by about 5 years) because I prefer to have something generationally in common with the person. I have dated 8 years younger and I found that to be too young for me because not only did we not have enough in common, in a variety of other ways too. If you feel you have a lot in common and click on an emotional level, then great! Hopefully he is not dating you because he has an issue with growing older, or a mid-life crisis, or he needs a trophy type girl due to insecurities and he is with you just because of YOU!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
In reply to: honeybaby789
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 4:06pm

Hello,

Thanks for your message... We do have lots in common, and we get along great, but I have often wondered about the generation gap. I do like that he's more experienced in life but I am also intrigued that we seem to have clicked. I have dated younger guys before (about 4-6 years younger?) and those didn't work out simply because we weren't on the same track.

I'm trying to take things slowly, to see what eventually happens... If any alarm bells go off my self-protection will kick in and (hopefully) stop me from doing anything too stupid. :)

Cheers!

hb789

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: honeybaby789
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 8:18pm
"but I have often wondered about the generation gap." - could you please elaborate your specific concern?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: honeybaby789
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 3:06pm

It's obviously your life and your decision and there are plenty of relationships with big age gaps.

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