How to reject women..ladies
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How to reject women..ladies
| Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:59pm |
So how do i do it? It does'nt seem to work when i tell them i just wanna be friends. I just got home tonite from the gym, and i work out with this girl/friend of mine at bally's. She's one of the friends that want me as a bf. She told me tonite
"the more we hang out together, i believe your feelings for me will change, and we can have a relationship"
"the more we hang out together, i believe your feelings for me will change, and we can have a relationship"
That shocked me! So we had a little discussion for 5 minutes about it, and i told her, that i just want to be friends. If i wanted to be in a relationship with you, that would of happened a year ago. She got upset and left in the middle of our workout
I tried calling her on her cell, but she turned it off
Now i dont know what to do!

Guy: I just want to be friends. (means: I just want to be friends)
Girl: Ok, me too. (means: I'll charm you into wanting more from me, because you'll see how good I am for/to you and you won't be able to help but fall for me)
Guy: Really, I only want to be friends. I don't want a relationship. (means: I just want to be friends)
Girl: Yes, I understand. (means: It's only a matter of time and he'll change his mind)
In this instance, I don't really see that you're at fault anywhere. She's stated her intentions. You've stated yours. They did not match. She's upset. You're wondering why. I wouldn't try calling her. Her ego would be bruised enough without you having to tell her again, "like I said, you're a great girl and all, and I wanna be friends, but I just don't want a relationship with you". Sucks to hear that anytime.
Let her get back to you in her own time. She probably feels a bit stupid, but she did assume more than you were offering.
In her defence...at least she was honest.
I don't think you need to stomp on her ego to make the point.
Just remember that you get what you give so it is best to always be considerate and kind when dealing with relationships.
If it was 100% platonic, I congratulate you on your honesty and integrity.
If it is more of a friends with benefits situation, it is easy for me to see how she may have been confused or misled.
I appreciate your honesty with her. This is a trait of a nice guy.
Sounded like a little bit of a slap in the face what you replied to her though, "if I wanted a relationship, it would have started a year ago". Not only did you reiterate that you never want to be more than friends, but it would've happened upon first meeting her, right? So now she feels like she's not good enough and never had a chance, which is only partially true. She is a good person, just not what you are looking for.
The next time a woman bears her soul like that, just say, "I am only looking for a friendship here, if you have other intentions, I don't, I'm sorry."
On the other hand, I can't believe she said that to you!!!