How soon is too soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
How soon is too soon?
4
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 4:23pm

I'm new to this so I'll try to make this short and to the point.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year about 3-4 weeks ago because I finally was able to admit that the relationship wasn't going to be long term. Looking back now, I realize that I'd known this a few months prior to the breakup.

Prior to the breakup by a few months, I met a guy through work and we became friends. We didn't spend much time together (usually once or twice a week for a few months)and only in a professional, work setting. However we did get to know each other a bit through work.

Now This guy has asked me on a date. He's a really nice guy, who I get along with really well. I'm planning on going on a date with him, but my friends and I all have varying ideas of how soon is too soon to go on a date. I thought I'd ask you.

Any thoughts?

Thanks for your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 4:38pm
Do you feel ready? Do you feel like you can go on a date with no assumptions or expectations from your previous relationship? Do you feel like you can be yourself and give someone a chance without making immediate judgements? Everyone moves on in a different way so you're just going to have to decide for yourself if you're ready. I'd caution you to make sure you're moving on from your last relationship and not to another. There's a difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 4:59pm
As long as you are over your ex and you're not dating this new guy as a means to "forget about" your ex, then by all means. Go ahead.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 1:25pm

no one can make that decision for you but you're definitely right to wonder if it's too soon. it sounds like you somewhat at least have the breakup in perspective...i think it's fine to start socializing but in terms of serious dating that might be something you want to beware of, you don't want to leap into something out of loneliness, need, etc, esp someone you have to face at work


keep being in touch with your feelings, checking in with caring friends, etc. Be good to yourself which includes making new friends but maybe not friends who are quite THAT good just yet


,
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 1:51pm

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts. It's always nice to get other's perspectives.

Thank you!