How to take it slow
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How to take it slow
| Mon, 03-26-2007 - 10:38am |
I have always been the girl to move fast with a new guy, without really getting a chance to know him. So much so, that the longest I waited before we became intimate was one month. I don't know how to take things slow, and now I have entered into a new friendship with a man who lives across the sea. No choice but to take it slow with him, since we won't even meet for 4 months. We both agreed that we need to use this time to get to know more about each other. I worry that I will sabotage this relationship because I have never had to "be me" in these situations, most were gone, or I was, before the glitter was off. I have this fear of being hurt, and being vulnerable, though I want to be with a man I trust. I know my relationship with him is new, but I am asking this in general, because eventually I am going to have to take the risk. Any advice or people who have dealt with something similar within?

You have to aknowledge that your LDR is not a real relationship until you the moment you meet, set eyes on him and through contact you match the man you've been seeing through pictures, webcam, e-mailing, calling and chatting with, with the stranger you have in front of you for the first time.
This new BF is right on the money when suggesting to utilize the 4 months to get to know each other. This is the time you need to ask questions about his life, likes, dislikes, judgements and so on. He in turn will ask you the same. I wonder why you fear showing yourself? Is there something that you think he may not like about you? Covering yourself with information that it's not true in time will prove enough for him to break it up with the real you.
Ask about his family and see how this man treats you. Demand respect and give it in return. People treat you like you allow them to treat you. Follow up with cals if you say you'd call OR see if he does the same. All this will allow you to get to know him better and decide if it'll be worth your time to meet him in 4 months.
Sexual information could be shared, but at a later time when you both meet. IMHO, initiating sexual information before meeting shows that sex is in mind and you haven't even met. Sex could rule the whole thing and not the real person.