How to talk to a man....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
How to talk to a man....
2
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 9:06pm
Okay,

So I've "broken the ice" with this guy I'm interested in. I initiated it by approaching him with a question. I acted as though I honestly did not know the answer, and he was very kind and helpful. No conversation came out of it, so I moved on and waited, praying that he would make the next move. A week went by...I'd see this guy everyday, we'd say our hellos, but nothing else. Sometimes, however, I'd catch him staring and I felt like there were times when he'd just show up where I was. However, because I hadn't seen any action or had any concrete evidence that he was remotely interested, I'd gotten to the point where I was gonna give up because I just assumed that he had no personality and that he just wasn't a very personable guy.

So today, there was eye contact. Not just any eye contact...You guys just don't know...this man has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen!!! Anyway, I digress.

The eye contact was electric...I'm such a dork, though. I just smiled, said hello, and looked away!!! I've been told to hold the eye contact so that the other person will know that you're interested.

Also today, HE TALKED TO ME!!! It was initiated by him. Although it wasn't much: he just appeared out of nowhere and said something funny. I was completely caught off guard and couldn't do anything but smile and blush and mumble some two word response. I didn't even try to keep it going.

I really need help on two issues here:

1. I'm not sure if he's available. He doesn't wear a wedding band; however, I've been in trouble before with crushing on a man who I thought was unmarried and turned out to be hitched. How do I find out? I don't have enough of a rapport with him to come out and ask him if he's married.

2. If he turns out to be unmarried, where do I go from here? Should I approach him with a witty comment? Should I just smile at him everytime he passes by? Should I just tell him I have the hots for him (definitely won't do that one).

I just don't understand men, and how they show their interest in women.

Can someone give me some insight?





Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 7:57am
That's a toughie. You don't want to come right out and ask him if he's married. The only thing I can suggest is to keep talking to him and listen really carefully about what he talks about. Try to bring up weekends and what you have planned or what you did or even he did for the weekend. I have conversations like this all the time with people I'm not even remotely interested in and it doesn't mean you're fishing for anything. Just continue to be friendly, smile and talk to him and just be patient. If it's to be then it will happen. Never know, he could be wondering the same about you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 12:19pm
Well, sounds like you're on the right track asking him a question and saying hi. I would try to turn up the talking to asking him what he's doing for coffee break- did he want to grab something with you? Also asking what he did this past weekend (on a mon) or what his plans are for the upcoming weekend (on a fri) could help to have something to talk about. If there's something interesting that you and your friends are doing some weekend, tell him about it- you could even suggest he check it out.

When you have broken the ice a little more that way, then you can slip in a "and how does your girlfriend feel/ think about that?" I have used this a million times and it always works to find out if they're attached.

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