how to tell if he is interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
how to tell if he is interested?
3
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 5:05pm
Hi - Really having trouble figureing out if this guy is interested. We work together - he is seven years younger. We are friendly - we exchange non work related e-mails several times a day. He sends me notes updating me on things going on in his life etc. He blind copies me on e-mails he sends to friends about situations that he has told me about with his friends. He comes by my desk frequently just to chat. Several other people at work have comented that he is a constant visitor at my desk. Today I had to leave work early & we had exchanged several e-mails but hadn't talked live yet. He had asked a work related question that I tried to answer for him as I was packing up my stuff to leave via voicemail - but he called back before I left & said he would be right over. So he showed up & sat down making himself comfy - even though he knew I was trying to leave. I had to check something at home & told him I would call him this afternoon to answer his question - but when I did he was very distant & business like. It was very weird.

He is an insecure guy - and hasn't had much experience with girls. Could he just want to be friends? If so - what's up with the constant e-mails & conversation. I have asked him to go out for lunch twice - both times he said no - but the e-mails increased. I just don't know what to make of this guy. I am really interested - but don't know if he is a lost cause or just shy?

Any thoughts from anyone>?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 5:29pm
since you've asked him out twice and hes said no for whatever reason - let him ask you out now.

i'll give you an example. the guy i ve been dating for a lil over 3 months - i had asked him out about 2 weeks ago 2 times. put me off, said no basically. so i didnt hear from him for almost a week (we had usualy gone out once/twice a week to that pt)... next thing i know he asked me to dinner, then has been asking me to do stuff again.

asking me to do stuff i had mentioned i wanted to do. I think he wanted to do it and he was probably busy doing his thing... but i know men like being the pursuer.

let him be the hunter :-) so sit back and relax. patienc eis hard - im bad at it, but when you do just sit back and relax , its kinda nic eand makes you appreciate them much more.

IMO - I think he likes you as a friend + a little more. But not enough to pursue you.maybe its the work ing together thing or age. Either way - you wont know unless you talk to him about it. But you have to wait until you get that chance.

good luck

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 5:38pm
I don't understand how frequent calls and emails are inconsistent with friendship! That seems *totally* consistent to me. Can you explain your thinking on that please?

In any event, I think that if he were interested in you romantically, he would have either said yes to one of the lunch invitations or countered with something else. Or, it may be that he's interested, but doesn't want to get romantically involved with you because you work together.

I'd move on and date other people. Stay friends with him if you are comfortable with that, and who knows, things may change, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 7:54pm

Hello mitchellj !