How to tell a man you're not interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
How to tell a man you're not interested?
11
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 1:39pm

Well..I went out with this man on three dates and I had a nice time but I am not interested in continuing to date him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 1:46pm

do it the same way if the roles were reversed - with dignity and kindness. I've done this before and said "You are a nice man and I enjoy (have enjoyed) the time we've spent getting to know each other. I don't feel the level of chemistry that I know needs to be here for a serious relationship.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 2:03pm

Thank you Toni! I have written a bit of a "cue card" for when we get to talk to eachother...I do not want to get nervous and just blur something out that might be offensive or rude.


Unfortunately no one has "let me go" with kindness and respect lately, when I did my two years of internet dating - the guys that let me go

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 3:43pm
Last time I had to do this was with a very, very nice man who, on paper, was everything I wanted - there was 0, zilch, nada chemistry.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 4:11pm

Yea! I know what you mean about zero chemistry and not even being a little excited about seeing him or hearing his voice on a VM or anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 4:29pm

yes - I have to feel that passion with someone - and if its not there, nothing else will override that - at least for me.


I have lurked on the Mismatched Libidos board some - and also have a close friend who is

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 7:53pm
I'm sure he will appreciate a courteous and respectful sendoff.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 8:04pm

English is my second language so when I get nervous I forget how to speak - any language.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 8:16pm

if he is someone that will remain in your social circle, then something like "You're a great guy and I like you a lot but I prefer that we remains just friends"


Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 1:23pm

Thanks for clarifying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 5:58pm

Yes, I do know what you mean.

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