How to untangle this mess?
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| Sat, 11-06-2004 - 2:42am |
About 3 months ago, I met a guy at work. He would stop and talk to me, always babbling about completely random things. I thought he was cute, but at that time I was interested in someone else so I didn't pay much attention- until another co-worker told me that he was asking about me, and then he asked for my number.
After that, we went on a 'date'. It was really nice, actually. We talked and talked and talked. We had a lot in common. His manners and politeness blew me away- it seemed like it was such a rare find in someone my age. At the end, we hugged and agreed we should do something again sometime.
As it turned out, he only works at my workplace during the summer. He has a full-time job about 90 minutes away from where I live. That was a bit disheartening, as I wasn't sure if I wanted to start a long distance relationship with someone. But we went out again the following weekend, and had another great time.
Since our first 'date' almost 3 months ago, we've seen each other at least once or twice a week. I've gone to visit him several times, and he's come to visit me several times. Everytime we're together, we have a blast and usually hang out for hours at a time. Sometimes we even spend the entire day together.
But there has been nothing really...romantic...there. He would occasionally 'bust a move', but it was usually something like scooting closer to me and putting his arm around me. At the end of the night he would usually hug me and kiss the top of my head or my cheek- and that was it.
I came to the realization that I wasn't really putting forth much effort myself (I can be shy sometimes), so the last time we hung out I was a lot flirtier. We cuddled a lot as we watched a movie, and things seemed to go A LOT better. I was definitely getting the vibe that he liked me. He was a lot more physical as far as touching goes, but again- no wild making out. Nothing so much as even a kiss.
As far as I know he isn't seeing anyone else. He's not that type of guy. I'm actually getting the impression that he's shy and hasn't had a lot of experience with girls, as he never really mentions any girls from his past. But then again, it's never really been formally discussed between us.
We have never discussed anything remotely relationship related before, whether it was past relationships or a relationship with each other. I am getting the feeling he's a lot like me- I'm pretty unexperienced as far as the whole 'serious relationship/commitment' thing goes. I'm a bit of a commitmentphobe, I guess. :P
I am just confused as to where this is all going. The last time I saw him was a week and a half ago. I told him I would call him, and I haven't. I feel horrible, but I just needed some time to think about things and what in the heck was going on. I needed some interrupted time to sort things out. And I also got extremely busy with work and other things going on in my life.
The signals he is sending me are so mixed that I'm really hesitant to invest any real emotional feelings there. I'm guarding myself, in a sense. But then I think by doing that, the signals I'm sending to him are very confusing him as well.
I know I should just be honest and talk to him about it, but like I said...a week and a half has passed now since we last talked. I said I would call him and haven't, and he hasn't tried to call me.
Where should I go from here? Is it worth it to try to call him? And if so, how should I explain my week and a half long disappearance? For the guys on this board- would you be put off if a girl said she'd call and didn't for a week and a half, and then suddenly called you?
Over the course of this past week, I've realized that I like him a lot. I think he is so funny and so smart and so cute. We have so much in common and he's just such a nice guy. And I know that I'm physically attractive as well, and I think that's the other part of it. Over the past few weeks, I've been examining if I really want to be 'tied down' in a realtionship right now. I do. It scares me (commitmentphobia!), but I do. I've missed talking to him and seeing him. He is sincerely a good guy, and someone I could see myself with for awhile. I realized over this past week how much I like him.
I just hope he feels the same way about me.
What's the best way to handle this situation? And what's the best way to take this relationship to the next level? Thanks so much for reading this! :)
