HUGE problem!!! PLEASE help
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| Tue, 11-30-2004 - 4:35pm |
I've been with the same guy for about a year now, and he's 28 and I'm 21. It's been going really well, and we're in a great spot right now. we've had our share of fights and actual breakups in the past year however...and in fact the last time we fought and broke up was about 2 months ago. and he raelly hurt me in this experience...i didnt hear from him at all for two weeks and he led me to believe that he was cheating on me. we're still reparing our relationship right now, and we communicate a lot more, and i think we both realize what a good thing we have here and work really hard to compromise and keep things running smoothly.
however, about two weeks ago, i decided that since over the breakup, he led me to believe he cheated on me, that i needed to have him tell me that he would never cheat on me. So I brought it up to him one night by saying, "i love you, but when we broke up, you really hurt me, and I dont want to get hurt again, and I want to know that you're not going to cheat on me and hurt me like that ever." then somehow, he took that as me trying to get very serious with him and he replied with, "I never cheated on you, and I never will, and i love you, but I'm still don't know if you're the one for me and I don't think I'm ever going to get married, but I won't cheat on you." So that was really awkward and weird, and I didn't really know how to take that. I don't know either if he's the one for me and i love him, but i'm only 21 and I dont know either. So since i got mainly what I wanted to hear (and a whole lot more) I dropped it.
Then, last night, we were sitting there and he started to ask what I was going to do after I graduate (I graduate this summer) and I said that i was thinking of either going to grad school OR taking a year off of school but that I wasnt sure where I was going to live. Then, he told me that he was thinking of moving this summer after I finished up school, and was thinking of inviting me with him. We've NEVER talked this serious before, and honestly, it scares me a lot and i dont know what to even think anymore. Two weeks ago, he's telling me he's never getting married and now he wants to move with me?? I want to be serious with him, I want it mroe than anything, but what does he mean??? Is there any point in planning a future with him and moving with him if there's no definite long term plans in his mind? Would I just be setting myself up for pain?

I agree with you that you would be taking a major risk if you choose to uproot yourself and move with no clear idea of what kind of future you would have with this man.
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