Hurt and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
Hurt and confused
2
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 11:06am
Hi,

Sorry this is long, please bear with me. I really need some help understanding a guy!!! We've been dating for 2 months, seeing each other at least 2 times a week. Neither of us have been seeing anyone else. A few weeks ago I found out that his profile was still up. I was very nice, didn't attack him, and asked him about it. He said that he isn't seeing anyone else, and doesn't plan to, and he goes on there because he's bored and it's fun. He said that if he did see someone else, he would be honest with me and let me know, but again said he didn't plan to. He has never lied to be or given me any reason to doubt him. But he's on there everyday! In the same talk we decided that we were both too busy to have a gf/bf relationship (which is fine with me for now) but again, we werern't really going to see other people. He still has all the little cards, flowers etc displayed in his house. Don't think he'd be doing that if other girls were coming over.

He basically is doing 3 jobs right now, a full time job, a side project and then has a demanding volunteer position. With his volunteer position, he is there at least 20-30 hours a week. He brings me there every few weeks if he has to stop in for something. My point is that I don't think he would do that and introduce me to everyone if he didn't truely mean all the things he said. These guys are basically his bosses, that he sees at least 3-4 times a week. He has a wonderful reputation there, from what I can tell, he woulnd't do anything to jeopardize that. (ie; bringing in all sorts of different girls)The last time we were there, his boss asked if I was his gf, and he said "she's as close as she can get". From my standpoint, he could have easily said, no, or we're just seeing each other or even something like I'll let you know.

What it comes down to is this. Because of his logging on to that damn site and how busy he is, I am feeling very vulnerable. I don't think I have the right to tell him to take the profile down since we aren't bf/gf. But if he just wants me, why is he still looking? And why so often??

Thanks in advance for your help...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 11:22am

Well, since you're not exclusive (since he's keeping open the possibility of

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 11:25am
Hate to tell you, but the worst case scenario is he's still looking because he's still looking.

The best case scenario is he's not ready to admit to himself that he's not looking.