hypnosis

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
hypnosis
6
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 10:58am
hello everyone,
I fell in love with this guy at work, and the feelings are mutual. We started as best friends, and a year later we took the friendship to the next level. We have fun together, I miss him when he's not around, but I really don't see a future wiht him. He's a lady's man, which I don't really agree wiht.
I've tried everything in my power to get over my feelings for him, but the fact that we work together and our offices are one besides the others, it's really hard.
For my next step, I was wandering if anybody here tried hypnosis. I know it may sound weird, but I'm at the end of my rope, and any sugesttions would help.
Does this really help? Please, help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: irina1975
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:18am
Hypnosis to try to forget him? I wouldn't want anyone to delve into my mind, especially when I'm not in control of what I am doing or saying, not for any reason... I would rather just pray that I get over him. It might be best to try to find employment elsewhere because clearly seeing him every day is not going to help you. Good luck. Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: irina1975
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:25am
I've tried hypnosis with my therapist...it's just deep meditation, it doesn't make your feelings go away. I think that you should continue no contact with this guy and get out there and meet some new people, don't socialize with coworkers for awhile and create a new circle of friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
In reply to: irina1975
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:28am
Hi Lucy,
Thanks a lot for your reply...I thought a million times about changing my job, the only thing that this is my dream job. I'm a computer programmer for the Federal Government, and all the benefits and stability that comes with it. If I still want to work for the gvt., I'd have to switch groups, which means that I'm still in the same building.
And knowing him, he'll try and stick it to my face.
He always says that he loves me, but recently there is another girl at work that's "after him". And, being a nice guy, he never mentioned me. I find it sooo hard, because I love him so much and the idea of him being with someone else it distroys me.
I understand hypnosis is problaby not the best way to go about it...but I'm about to loose my mind wiht this guy. Now, I don't want him, but also I don't want anybody else to have him...it's so weird. I'm 29, and I don't remember ever feeling this way about any other guy, not even in my teens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: irina1975
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:39am
Listen, I know how hard it is that is why I suggested finding another job but if you have your dream job don't let him chase you away. He may be arrogant enough to think that you left because you couldn't handle seeing him every day and he's not with you... it may be true SMILE but he doesn't need the swollen head does he? You're in a tough one.... as I said, I've been there but I got lucky, he left the company and I was able to stay on. All I can suggest now is that you basically ignore him... easier said than done ha? I hope you do get over him soon but again, I'd be leary of hypnosis... that's too scary. Best of luck. Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
In reply to: irina1975
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 12:01pm

Hi Lucy,
Again, thank you. I also wanted to mentioned something, but I was scared to for the reason of being rejected by everyone here, who does not know the TRUE situation. Here it is...
I'm married, and I have a 4 year old son. My marriage has been down for awhile..even before I met this guy. The only reason why I am still around is because of my son. He is the most important person in my life, and the idea of only seeing him part time (my hysband and I we'll have joint custody) scares me. I don't want that for my son, especially that he loves us both. My husband is an excellent father and husband, but it's been a long time I'm not in love with him anymore. He's 11 years older and we don't have the same things in common. My parents did advise me not to marry him, but I didn't listen.

Now, this guy from work, he's my age, and we get along very well. THe only thing, is that I'm still married and living at home.
I know girls, this is ridiculos, I was raised better than this, but it's like something or someone took control over my heart and brains (I know, what brains?) and will not let go.
Lots of my friends told me to get a divorce if I'm not happy, instead of living a double life...but I can't part with my son, and I will never go for full custody, and that's because I have no grounds. I will never do that to his father, who's been nothing but the best to me and our son.

Now, I hope you guys understand the situation better...and I know how much I let my parents down, who raised me way better than this.

ina

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: irina1975
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 1:35pm
Wow Ina, it does sound much more complicated. All I can say is that you need to either try to repair your marriage or leave and then move forward. You said that your husband is an excellent father and husband, so I take it he is good to you. Ina, my husband cheated on me and that is why I left him. I have to tell you that infidelity is so painful to the victim spouse especially when he/she loves the infidel. I was absolutely in love with my husband when he started cheating on me. I remember times when I wanted to pull my hair out thinking that he was with 'her'. I also remember crying until my eyes were so swollen that they wouldn't even open right. It is so painful, please think about that. I didn't have any children with my ex but I can only assume that it would be very painful for your husband and ultimately it will affect your son. Do you think it might just be infatuation with this guy? Sometimes we think the grass is greener on the other side and realize that while what you saw was green, they were green weeds. I am no counselor but from someone who has been there on the receiving end, it's awful. I can't tell you what to do but I do ask that you think hard about what you are doing and the damage this might create. You may want to go to the 'My Affair' board. Maybe someone there will be able to advise you much better than I ever will. Take care. Lucy