I am in desparate need of advice
Find a Conversation
I am in desparate need of advice
| Mon, 09-13-2004 - 3:04pm |
I am 33 and have been VERY single for a VERY long time. I was in a serious relationship about 5 years ago and since then, have not been that interested in dating. I tend to push people away when I do meet them. I honestly think that I am scared to be happy. My question is, how do I get over that fear? I met someone recently that I really like and I don't want to push him away. Can anyone offer any advice??

Pianoguy wonders if you're really SCARED...or if you're more comfortable being SINGLE?
As much as most of us would like to have a S.O. in our lives, some of us function MUCH BETTER ON OUR OWN! It doesn't mean we can't hang-out with a group...or somebody special. But when the date is over..."you go your way and I'll go mine" is probably the best plan of action for now!
With the person you've just met...perhaps (once the 2 of you are comfortable sharing personal stuff during conversation) you could let your guard down a little? Explain that you haven't felt this strongly about a man in several years....and you're a little nervous about the way things may go???
If the gentleman doesn't at least take your hand and say: "Don't worry, hon...we'll work on this together"----YOU CAN THROW HIM BACK INTO THE RIVER! But you know something?
I'll bet he'll go half-way...if you do the same? Best wishes and warm thoughts from...
Pianoguy
You don't have to push anyone away if you don't look at dating solely as a means to an end. Look at it as enjoyable companionship with the idea that if dissatisfaction becomes more prevalent than enjoyment, it's time to move on. Don't take it *personally*, or think of a guy as a *jerk* should that happen. When dating ends it's just nature's way of telling you that you weren't right for each other, but you'll have learned more about yourself, and had fun in the process. That will keep your heart light and enable you to attract someone even better for you in the future. That same approach will make it more likely that dating a compatible guy will progress to a relationship with him.
Adopt this philosophy: Live for the present, while preparing for the future. All you have is today, tomorrow may never come. Living for what *could be* makes you lose what *is*.