I am not going to do it this time

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
I am not going to do it this time
9
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 4:19pm

I fall for a guy pretty quickly and look WAY too much into what he says and does. I analyze things to a fault and get myself to worked up, ok so here is the scenario....

The gym I go to there is this guy that I always talk to and am kind of flirty with. We see eachother out on the weekends and always talk while we are out. So this past thursday at the gym he was asking me if I was going out and stuff and I casually just mentioned that he should get my number and give me a ring if he was going out. He called me that next night and asked what I was up to and what I was doing. I told him I had dinner plans with the family and I would give him a ring afterwards. We didn't end up meeting up. So Sat night he called and I was going out with a girlfriend and we decided to meet up afterwards. I met him and his friend out. He bought my drinks, we danced, he put his arm around me, etc. Well we all went back to his place to hang out. I ended up staying the night(all innocent) The next day he took me to lunch and we just hung out and watched football. So, he walked me out to my car when I left. Gave me a kiss and said, "I will give you a call or you call me. I will be talking to you soon." I know that he is interested(at least I hope) So I shouldn't call him even thought he threw that out there. He will call me if he wants to see me again. Correct? I just need to know if it is ok to call because I have really messed this up in the past. It is about time for the guys to chase me ;-) Thanks for any advice!!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 4:51pm

I would let him call you. If he's interested, he will do so.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 6:23pm

Hi gal,

I totally know where you're at -- yes, you're right, let him call you! That would be my best advice. I think this is the best way to tell if a guy's truly interested or not in those beginning stages of a relationship. It's hard to do, though. Especially when they throw it out there like that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 8:26pm
I know, I know. If you don't see if he calls you how do you truly know that he is interested. Even the shyest guys can pick up a phone. Not worrying too much about it because last relationship I was in I worried myself sick and I couldn't take it. I beat myself up. I actually just found out yesterday that the whole time we were together he was hanging out with his ex. So, I am treading lightly in the dating department. Im just scared and I don't want to get attached again so quickly. Its tough out there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 11:38pm
If you're that interested in the guy, then you should definitely give him a call. It may seem a little weird to be the one calling, but trust me, he'll be impressed that you took the initiative to do it. He wouldn't have said it if he didn't really mean it, no matter how deep down it came from. He may call you, he may not; he might just be waiting to see what you do. This phone call might be his way of determining how interested you are in him. So give hime a call asap!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 9:17am
Ok- So I can call him once tonight and then the ball is in his court? How does that sound?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 10:10am
That sounds like a good plan. If he doesn't answer his phone, make sure you leave a message giving him your number at the least and, if you feel comfortable with it, when he can reach you. That way you're not playing phone tag trying to get a hold of one another. But hopefully you'll actually get him on the phone so you don't have to worry about leaving a message at all. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 5:28pm
Well, I called him and he answered. We chatted briefly and he asked if I was going to the gym tonight and how my day was going. He said he would see me at the gym and told me what time he would be there. That is pretty good! Then he said, "If for some reason I am not there I will call you later, or you call me. I don't know why he keeps throwing in this you call me stuff after he tells me he will call. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he is pressuring me or something. Who knows!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 6:04pm
Congrats on actually kind of making plans. I don't know what this 'you call me' stuff is all about. Like you said, he might just be trying not to pressure you. If he's not there, wait for him to call you this time; he may have had job conflicts or something. If he doesn't call you, then give him a call tomorrow or the day after. Don't give up, you've started things out right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 10:49pm

I agree. Let him chase you.


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