I am so confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
I am so confused
3
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 5:00pm

(I really didn't mean to make this so long..)

First time posting... I just need some guy help.

Okay, well I'm kind of interested in this guy, I'm 18 and he's 20. He is kinda different from me and I've only gone out with him on one coffee-date, meeting him for the first time in real life, and we talked for about 3 hours, although not getting to know each other REALLY well. We talked online for a while, and we decided to meet. Last wednesday, I went to help him clean his apartment. I went, and since I didn't eat all day, I ate something before I went over. While we were at his apartment, I helped him clean his kitchen since he was moving to another apartment building for school, and he mentioned he was a vegetarian for the first time (no problem for me at all, but I LOVE white meat, I'm not so hot on red meat, though). I was confused why he didn't mention that on our first "date", but I'm fine with him being a vegetarian. He offered to buy me dinner. I didn't think an hour after I got there, we would be going to dinner. While at dinner, we went to Noodles & Company (his favorite place to eat), I just got a fountain drink. He wouldn't even buy my chicken noodle soup. While HE was eating, I was just looking at The Onion I picked up, since he was eating and I didn't know what to talk about. After that, we went back to his apartment, and I grabbed the stuff I was taking from his fridge, and I left. It was about 8:30, and although I really did want to stay and talk, I didn't know what he wanted to do or if he wanted me to stay.

That night, when I got home, I sent him an e-mail, telling him I had a nice time and that I would like to talk with him more and stuff. After about 2-3 hours, I sent him another e-mail, just asking him a few questions (I know I shouldn't have sent him a second e-mail, but I just had to), and just telling him about me, and other things similar to that. The next day, he sent me an e-mail saying that he was offended by how I acted on Wednesday night. he said after talking to him for 3+ hours, I should know him better, and that he didn't know what to do; to be friends, break it off completely or continue. He told me I could call him, but I didn't since I desparatly fear rejection. I sent him another e-mail explaining some of my actions about that night, and since he'll probably be online tonight, I'm going to talk to him more.

What did I do wrong? How do I make it right?

I really would like to get to know him more and possibly get into a more inimate relationship, but it doesn't seem like he wants to sit down and talk casually with me alone. I am going to try to offer to meet at a park or go to a movie and then walk around and talk together tomorrow, since we were GOING to go to dinner and/or a movie tomorrow. Is that a good idea?

I really need some insight on what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 8:47pm

This is way too much drama considering you hardly know eachother.

I'd pass on this guy, to tell you the truth -- it shouldn't be this hard from the get-go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Sat, 08-13-2005 - 12:15am

Ah. Thanks.

I guess if it gets even worse, I could forget about it. Or even just try my hardest to be friends, but I really want to see if it gets better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2005
Sat, 08-13-2005 - 3:09am

I don't see anything wrong with you going out for the movie and dinner, and seeing how things go. Try not to expect too much at this early stage, and enjoy his company. If you feel you are being treated right, then there's no harm in pursuing a friendship, provided he feels the same as well.

Goodluck..