I AM SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW! PLEASE HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
I AM SO UNHAPPY RIGHT NOW! PLEASE HELP!
2
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 12:30pm
Me, and my boyfriend (we're both 16) have been together since September 03', and he lives in a foster home (he belongs to the state)He has been here since August 02', but November 03' they made him pack up his things and move to Tyler (which is 2 hours from here) We decided to stay in the relationship (he was supposed to be back in March) Months passed, and we were still going strong. March came, and they said he'd have to be back in May (after school get's out) So, the other day he tells me that his football coaches really want him to stay, bc he would most likely get a scholarship (he's a pro at being the kicker!) and i start crying and getting depressed again, bc i have been waiting months for him to return, and he is like my life, and i love him so much, no one even knows. He is devastated about the whole situation, and he keeps saying he wants to come back to be with me bc if he stayed, he would hate himself for leaving "the love of his life" We both get along with eachother so very much, and i've never cared about someone so much in my whole entire life. I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY! :-) I wish I could just say "Blaine, stay in Tyler." "You love football, and I don't wanna take your dream away from you, so stay!" BUT!... I can't! I am being so selfish, and I know that's because i want him here.. to myself. I want to see him every day like i used to when he was last here. I miss all of that. I know he should do what he wants, but what should I DO? What should I SAY? PLEASE HELP ME!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 1:54pm
I feel for your situation, however no one can tell you what to do. I would want to tell him to stay too, but you can't.

I would say "I know you love what you are doing and i don't want to stop you from doing what you've dreamed of all your life, so you stay. It is up too you now, you know how i feel and now it is your final decision. You know how i feel and will love and support you no matter what your decision is. We will love each other no matter how far apart we are". You can visit with each other every weekend. Somehow.

Listen; if you really and truly love each other than youwill find a way to be with each other again. talk every night on the phone, email even. I know it is going to be very difficult but you can't stop him from doing this. He may miss his chance if he is held back now.

I wish you the best of luck

Carrie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 9:08pm
I feel for you because your situation sounds so painful and neither of you really have control of it.

He has to do what is right for his future. You are both young - too young to make a decision for the rest of your life. You both have to develop into mature adults so you can be the best persons you can be.

If your relationship was meant to be, it will be. Try to be grateful for the time you have had and be strong.

Don't try to control him or beg him to make a decision that he will regret - that will only bring future hurt. The fact that he is coming from a foster home makes it much harder for him.

Lean on your friends now and have faith.

I am sorry for you.