I CANNOT figure him out....HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
I CANNOT figure him out....HELP!!!
5
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 2:32am
OK, I met this guy about 8 months ago, but I was ending a relationship, so our communication was very infrequent. About 6 months later, we started talking and hanging out much more. OUr first date was great with more to follow. However, we've been hanging out for about 3 months now - still not as frequently as I would like, but we haven't kissed or anything. He tells me that he really likes me, but I'm starting to think that he may be involved with someone else, as there has been no intimacy. He's kissed me on my cheek and forehead, but that's it. He even spent the night at my house after a night of clubbing, but he was a complete gentleman. At first it was cute. but now I'm starting to wonder if this is a waste of time. I'm an attractive girl and use to men being MUCH more aggressive. I'm starting to go crazy. He's told me that he's not involved with anyone, and I've tried to give him subtle hints (that I am interested), but he's either totally clueless, uninterested, or involved with someone else, don't you think? I really like him, but can't imagine why he;s not more aggressive if he is truly available and interested in me. I just need some advice on how to proceed or if I should leave it/him alone. By the way, he's 28 and told me that he has never been in love...he's totally afraid of falling in love. So part of me thinks that this may have something to do with his behavior, or lack thereof. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 4:46am
i believe u should give him another chance and see where this goes. it cant be that bad not doing anything! how many times have we women said that we want to have a gentleman in our life who doesnt think only about sex?? now that u got him there just let everyhitng run smoothly and nature will take its course.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 10:06am
Ask.

Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 12:07pm
Does he understand your level of interest in him? What's stopping you from kissing him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 1:35pm
you have a really good point. I do appreciate the fact that he seems to really want to get to know and spend time with me, rather than just have an empty physical relationship. I guess sometimes I just feel like he may not be that interested in me. But, you are right, I will continue to be his friend and see where things head. Thanks for the advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 3:42pm
Don't jump to the conclusion that he's involved with someone else. Lay it all out on the table and ask him. Open up and just let it out. You might hear something that you don't want to hear, but you may also get the answers that you need. I do agree that 3 months and not even a kiss is a bit strange. But.............there could be a logical explaination. He may be a true gentleman. I'm wondering why he's never been in love. How old is he? If you ask him about the situation and you don't get the answers that you need, I would probably just back off a bit and tell him that YOU need some time. He might open up. If he truly cares for you I would hope that he will be willing to open up and talk to you. Sometimes it's just a matter of talking about things, communication. There may be a lot that he wants to tell you about himself, but just doesn't know how to open up. Does he talk about his past, family, friends, etc.? If he doesn't, then maybe it's time he did. It might give you some insight. Good luck.