I cant get over my ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
I cant get over my ex
2
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:48pm
my ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for three years. We had our fair share of problems but I knew he was the one for me. I imagined us walking down the isle together and I couldnt wait. I have never felt like that before, so desperate to marry someone. But I was deeply in love. He always would say he felt the same but the ring never came. We started to fight more and he grew critical of me. Telling me i was getting larger and buying my memberships to gyms, things like that. He and I worked together and the DAY AFTER I quit my job he broke up with me! Its almost like he saw that as an out. A reason to let me go.

I look back now and I can see we should have broken up a year ago. But I wanted to stick it out, i was sure we would get married. Even though it was obvious to my friends and family that the ring was never going to come. Knowing all this, you'd think Id be over him. I have more fun, more friends, and I eat what I want. But I still cant get over him. Somedays I wonder about him, some days i will watch for him places, and other days i resent and hate him. Its bringing me down and ruining my life.

Can someone help me!? I need it so badly! :(

Thank you,

Annie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 11:57am
Hi Annie,

My heart goes out to you. Theres nothing like the feeling of rejection from someone you care for. You go through the phases of trying so hard to be good, caring and flexible to his every need at your own expense. And in the end nothing changes or things get worse. Facing the truth about how much you have sacrificed for the relationship can be hard to admit to friends never mind oneself. But it's a crucial step in letting go of something that is harming you and can affect the rest of your life.

Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself isn't doing it to make you a better person. They're doing it because of their own insecurities with themselves, thier own inability to confront what is wrong in their life. He is a coward for not being truthful to you, not even to himself about what his true intensions are. It's a fault of his own and he is trying to push it onto you. You cannot let it ruin your life - it's not worth it. Walk a way.

If you feel bad about anything let it be because he missed a great opportunity and he will probably make the same mistake again because he is a coward.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 2:13pm
Dear Ann,

Honey, I know what you are ging through. Unfortunately the only thing that will help you get over him is TIME. Right now I know it seems as if he is the only one that you could possibly be with, and it stings to be rejected and have him not want you anymore. It might help for you to get angry at him ( For not wanting you anymore, rejecting you ) That might help with the feelings of still wanting him. But if you still love him, then all I can suggest is that you give yourself some time to get over him.

Remember a wise woman once said

" The best way to get over your old man

is to get under a new one " :-)