I can't help but notice the ratio of....
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I can't help but notice the ratio of....
| Tue, 03-02-2004 - 10:27am |
....male to female writers on most of these message boards. This is just a general thought and I would appreciate any input on this subject matter. Is it just me or does it seem like the women are always doing all the worrying/fretting in relationships? Why is it that the women are always the ones who have to "work" at keeping a guy interested and playing by all these tired/boring rules. Do guys spend as much time on this relationship stuff as we females do? Do men put as much thought and time and work and worrying into trying to keep the women interested? And if not, then why should we put soo much effort into this if we are only getting half in return. Just a thought. I am curious to anyone's responses on this. I think the high percentage of female writers to male writers is a pretty good example of my point here. Seems as though women put a lot more thought into this and are "required" to be the understanding, long-suffering, sacrificing partner in order to keep things going. Doesn't seem quite fair to me. How many ladies out there are sick of the effort involved in all this? And how many men out there agree/disagree?

Well, Ivillage is a site marketed and directed at women, so it's not surprising that there are more women on this site!
i can't speak for other men on this board, but i will say this, i believe women do fret and worry more about relationship issues. UNTIL, until, we men really find someone who we are truly, truly, truly interested in. that's why i'm here. as you know, a man's fear of rejection is sometimes greater than a woman's. so, i've found good insight to the woman's mind on this board, it helps, it really does.
P.S. By the way, isaturn, I posted another discussion about Bob (remember the really really long post?) and I followed your advice. Check out my new post and tell me what you think. It's called "Bob update for those who read 1st post) and it's probably on the second set of posts, not on the first page. You had good advice, so I'd like some input from you. Thanks!
But I also agree with you... I believe that women think more, worry more, analyze more, assume more, and generally make a bigger "fuss" over their relationships... even the casual ones. It's a basic difference between men and women. But like Growl said, men DO worry, plot, plan, obsess and care about their relationships ONCE THEY FALL for a woman. In fact, my observation is that when men do fall, they often fall harder than women... meaning it takes them longer to actually get over a failed love affair. Women seem to move on a little quicker.
My problem with "us" (women) is that we start obsessing and over-analyzing things way too soon. What you are reading on this board is a lot of posts from women who have only been seeing a man for a few WEEKS or months, and already they are worrying about why their "boyfriend" is acting so strange. Most of the time, the man doesn't even know he's a boyfriend!! He's only been dating this girl a little while and he isn't thinking of her as someone he plans to be with for the longterm. But the woman has been thinking of him as a mate from Date One. Big mistake.
Sex early on in a dating situation tends to confuse things. Because many women feel that once she has had sex with a man, he is "obligated" to be in a serious relationship with her. Another mistake, and a major difference in the male and female wiring.
I think one of the biggest differences is simply that women like to talk about relationship issues more. Men seem to want to take the ostrich approach... if he doesn't talk about it, maybe the problem will go away.
Women DO tend to be the caretakers of any relationship, even in marriage. It's nothing new... I don't know if this responsibility is imposed on us by society or something that we volunteer for because of our "nurturing" natures.
Edited 3/2/2004 5:16 pm ET ET by jilly73