I can't let him go
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I can't let him go
| Mon, 11-15-2004 - 11:36am |
I met a man on the internet, we live in different continents, we started as friends but the was very affectionate and nice, he never said he was in love but his actions made me thing he was in love, we used to talk everyday and one day I told him to come to visit me and know me in real life, he was hesitant because he didn't want to hurt me as it's hard to me to move where he lives, after an argument he decided to come because he didn't want to lose me. He came here and we were together for 2 weeks, we had a wonderful time together but he never said any love word or mentioned plan for the future, he said once before we met in real life he needs to know his partner in other cirumstances to really fall in love so that was my oportunity to let him know me just as I am. But he never said anything unless I said things and he said "me too". He was very nice and kind, we had sex too and that made me fall in love with him even more, the days were going by and the day he had to leave arrived, I was sad, he didn't say "I will miss you, I want to see you soon", I wanted him to but he seemed to want to say it, I was disappointed, when he said bye bye I saw tears in his eyes. We met online again but I was very sad, he seemed happy to see me again online, I was unsecure and started to find out about him by asking his friends (he has only female friends online). He got me and decided to break up saying that if there is no trust then we can't continue as a couple. That broke my heart, it's been 9 months since we broke up and he wanted to be my friend, he said he didn't want to lose me, but he has changed, he seems distant, because we used to talk a lot online and I miss that. I tried to be only his friend but I can't, I always want him to come back to me, he said he can't be the same as he used to be before we are a couple because it would be hard to him to avoid flirting with me, that he still likes me. I told him I didn't want to talk to him for a while, he said ok but he wasn't ignoring me. I miss him so much that I can't keep my promises about not talking to him, so as he's almost always online I talk to him.
I know I should leave him but I can't, sometimes he seems so nice and caring for me, the next day he doesn't even say hello when he sees me online. I am confused, if he did want me to let go from his life he would disappear for a while. What does he really want? Should I leave him and see if he really misses me or not?
Thanks.
I know I should leave him but I can't, sometimes he seems so nice and caring for me, the next day he doesn't even say hello when he sees me online. I am confused, if he did want me to let go from his life he would disappear for a while. What does he really want? Should I leave him and see if he really misses me or not?
Thanks.

I think a good thing to ask yourself is, why don't you want a real man in your life? ONe that can take you to dinner and you can go for real walks with? Are you a commitmentphobe? I realize that it's very romantic and your life must be filled with longing...but it's longing...it's not the genuine article that's coming over to your place tonight.
Delete this cyber guy, get rid of your computer and get out there to meet a 'real' man in 'real' time.